Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So sad

(4 Posts)
Leelo38 Thu 14-May-15 21:10:12

My husband works away from home, we've been married for only one year but together for nearly 10! He recently started a job in a foreign country and has become increasingly more distant! he only calls when I ask or I call him and when he does I become so upset and angry it only ends I a horrible argument! He is either at work or out with mates drinking so all conversations are hurried as he has no time! Any advice on how to deal with this please ��

heyday Thu 14-May-15 21:51:58

A relationship of this kind takes enormous effort from both parties to keep it alive and manageable. In all honesty it sounds like your husband is having the time of his life. Is there anyway you could join him, or would you even want to join him in this other country?
If most times when you talk it ends up in a horrible argument it's not really going to give him any incentive to want to call you. He doesn't want you to spoil his fun evening by the sounds of it.
It's time to sit yourself down and decide what you want for your life and then calmly tell him, perhaps by email if it keeps things calmer. You then need to await his response and decide your future from there.
He doesn't sound too committed and is probably enjoying the life of a 'single' man. Unless he is determined to work hard at this relationship it is in real danger of fizzling out.
Relationships are a two way partnership, but in your case it sounds like two people who have minimal communication and very little, if any joint happiness.

Leelo38 Thu 14-May-15 22:52:46

Thank you for your reply which is very insightful! Yes your right but I find it so difficult as I haven't changed at all, we used to be very close and now he hardly knows us at all but goes through the motions of saying he loves me and our child, but I don't actually believe it, I am so emotionally wounded and just want to hurt him as much as he has hurt me!! I cannot think about it without crying, and wonder if the best way ahead is to not be in contact with him to collect my emotions and make him realise what life without me would be like??

Boredofitall2345 Thu 14-May-15 23:29:08

Urg...poor you. Who knows what's going on...he could just be being shit or it could be something more sinister. Either way, it's not a good sign. Can you try your hardest to pull back and not contact him. They tend to trot back in haste when we do this. If he's a good man he may realise, like you say, what life without you is like. But tbh, if you have reached this stage already, iim not optimistic taht he's mature enough for this kind of realisation. If he doesn't contact you after you're no contact...well, I guess then you know something is up.

Also, what about a surprise visit?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now