I'm hoping that you can all give me the much-needed wisdom/kick up the arse I need.
I met a 28 yo in December (I'm 30) and we immediately hit it off/got together. We were seeing each other for a few weeks when he told me that he had two kids (6 months and 3 years) by his wife from whom he had separated in October. I was thrown initially but we carried on. Since then we have broken up twice, once because he stayed up all night taking drugs when he should've been at work and I discovered he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and then the second time because he kept calling me fat (I am a size 10). Both times I ended up getting back together with him after about five days because I think, basically, I couldn't resist him.
Which brings me to the problem, I am completely dazzled by him. He is utterly inappropriate, currently unemployed, has about five tonnes of baggage, can be unkind, drinks far too much (and goes off radar when he does), seems to have very few friends and is very demanding of my time, getting angry and calling me a bad girlfriend because I try to maintain some blanace in my life. Writing all this down just shows how much is wrong with the relationship and yet...I have never met anyone I am so drawn to, I love spending time with him (even if I am not always happy when I do), I love looking after him, I absolutely love having sex with him (and having come out of a five year relationship which fizzled out, this is a massive thing for me).
So the advice: we broke up again this morning before I went to work, it was about something utterly trivial but spiralled out of control and he ended up leaving. If I can stick to this, then I will never see him again - a thought I can barely handle. And yet, I don't see how we can ever get back together having broken up three times (!) in five months. He exhausts me, physically and emotionally and yet I feel myself being pulled back to him again already.
I don't even know what I'm asking for, I'm just so lost and confused. I want to get married and have a family and I feel like I'm watching all my friends do this while I pursue some insane relationship fooling myself that we can end up married with beautiful kids.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Unsuitable partner
LBARTON · 12/05/2015 17:59
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