Long distance now to January/New year

[pepperpotandyoghurt]

DP and I lived together and were very happy. I didn't want him to take this work overseas, but he wanted to for his career and the experience. We talked it through. I will support him and he support me - all the right intentions are there, I'm just scared it won't work and feel a little lost now and then with how to deal with it. He left 2 weeks ago...so far ok.

Has anyone done this and have any positive stories to tell...did you get through it ok? etc.

[pocketsaviour]

That's a long time.

Have you made arrangements to see each other at all during that period? Will you be able to go to him for a few weekends, or vice versa?

[Headdesk]

I did 5 months while my dp went back to his home town to work, we saw each other once a month. It was very hard :( but we're still together now.

[pepperpotandyoghurt]

pocketsaviour we will see each other a week in July, a a week and a half in September and then a week in December. Weekends not possible as he's very far away.

[PBfingers]

It is a long time but it does get easier, I promise! Currently in month 5 out of 7 as long distance. Together for 7 years. How long have you been with current partner? Do you have children?

It's great that you already have plans to see each other. Use these as your mini-milestones to work towards rather than thinking LDR until Jan/NY! The weekdays will zoom past, however it is the weekends that you should try and plan things for. Don't fester! The things you do don't have to cost the earth but make sure you get out a little (walks, town, spa treatments etc) and are with people you can have fun with. You might find a new hobby like running or even get back in-touch with old friends. Friends and family can really rally round at times like these (they might just need the odd reminder that you need a chum a little more than usual!). Also think what you can do to help friends and fam like babysitting, if appropriate, so that it's not all one-sided.

Communication is key with your partner, make sure you both know how each other feels and also set some boundaries so that you both know what is acceptable and there is no mis-communciation i.e. call times suit both your schedules and preference between FaceTime/calls/texts.

Have some fun with it! Use this to re-connect as a couple but also remember you both have an opportunity to develop a little as individuals.

[pepperpotandyoghurt]

Thanks PBfingers

How often have you been seeing one another? We have no DCs, do you?

Thank you for all the advice - it makes me feel less alone. It feels so hard.

[PBfingers]

Been lucky to see him roughly see him once every 4-6weeks. We don't have dc's either. Not sure if that makes it better or worse

This time, though my main bugbear this time has been the lack of everyday contact as he has had no phone signal for the majority. Cue the odd late night landline calls and no texts - reliving my youth somewhat! Is your dp easily contactable?

Here if you want a chat, a vent or anything in-between.

[Nolim]

Did it for 2 years. It was hard but we knew it was necessary for our careers and to be able to start a family, and we knew that 3 years was our maximum limit living apart.
And i did lots of things that i enjoy but he doesnt.