DP and I have been together a reasonably long time. Just over 8 years. Since DD was born 3.5 years ago, he's been less likely to have sex with me. We were down to every two/three weeks for about two years and now it's probably closer to once every three week/monthly.
He refuses to touch me affectionately. Says it's a personal space thing he's developed. He's very affectionate with DD tho. There was a long time where he'd go out drinking and come back as his passionate old self. I wasn't so concerned that it took alcohol for him to find me attractive just glad to have the affection and it rolled over into the next week or so after.
I fully believe that we are at that awkward stage where touch has become an issue and if we make the effort, it'll come back naturally.
He says he does still get sexual urges but it never seems to be at the right time.
I think out of guilt he has become a much better boyfriend all round, taking us places at the weekend instead of seeing friends. Paying more instead of ensuring everything is equal.
I've also started snoring like a bear. Possibly out of tiredness/stress of life which means he really struggles to sleep in the same room as me because he has that thing where noises really big him.
Anyway, the reason I'm posting is because we possibly just had our most awkward moment yet. He went straight to the spare room instead of attempting to come into our room which he normally does. I asked if he wanted to have sex and when he said no, I said if you change your mind you know where I am.
Five mins later he comes in. I joke about shall we kiss/spoon wtc and he says I'm just going to lie here for a minute. He's just lying there physically working himself up to it. There's never any foreplay/kissing. I joke that I feel I should be more involved in this part. He then says he feels too awkward about it. He literally can't bring himself to have sex with me. But then he makes no attempt to be affectionate and arouse either of us. No wonder it's awkward.
We've just put an offer in on our second house together. I said maybe that's not a good idea. He's agreed. We've had this conversation a thousand times since DD wS born. We are great companions but not sexually. We used to be so passionate.
So... If you're still with me... What can I/we do????
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Another sexless relationship thread. How do i/we work through it?
Cassie258 · 11/05/2015 23:45
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