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if it smells like a lie,appears to resemble a lie, ...it's a lie.

(5 Posts)
brokenhearted2015 Mon 11-May-15 00:37:12

I felt compelled to write this following my previous post over a week ago.
I know there are many here that post hoping for answers and sometimes don't like what responses they get. I suppose they feel they want to let out the frustration/hurt/anxiety of the situation and hoping against all hope that someone will reply that it's acceptable behaviour from a partner and that all the time invested in the relationship wasn't in vain or that somewhere deep down the partner is behaving inappropriately but that it isn't because they don't love you.
I found texts on dp phone. I didn't snoop intentionally, infact i felt our relationship was thriving and after the ups and downs of life we were in a great place & looking to the future. Albeit me being cautious. when i found the texts he denied and i felt i should believe him. he seemed so genuine. i also felt i possibly could have been more attentive/loving/sweet. These were all excuses, i simply didn't want to believe this man i loved and so often felt we had something amazingly special, could have slipped up.
i honestly thought he couldn't or it was a moment of weakness on his side.
everyone can be tempted/make mistakes.
i was wrong. i should have listened to all the posters here who in different relationships had experienced similar. he pleaded, made me feel terrible for a week of n/c, for not trusting him. Only to find out this evening that it was true. He hid it even more. but i just felt something not right. Tons of texts hidden in phone. That he was single. That he wanted a sexy pic.
i was angry, i couldn't pinpoint exactly why. was it that he had lowered himself to looking like a sleeze? The intelligent loving man i knew? Was it that he lied? Was it that he made me look stupid? Or was it he couldn't help control the attention he was getting? or was it simply that he could do this to us.
I still can't figure it out. But i do for sure know, i do not love him anymore. to do n/c now, will be easy because i hate who he became. A liar.
so to all of you who find text/pics/mails that looks suspicious, confront, if he denies and doesn't show real remorse then leave. Life is far too short to waste on people who only care about their selfish needs at your expense.
thank you all who remember my original post. You did give me the strength to get to a stage where now i can easily walk away knowing you were right.

glitteryflange Mon 11-May-15 00:39:52

you followed your gut instinct. good for you! you sound really strong and determined. You deserve more! X

DubbyDubby Mon 11-May-15 00:51:56

I read your previous thread. I'm glad you've got the answers you need to make your decision and feel 'okay' about it. How did you find out in the end - did he own up?

brokenhearted2015 Mon 11-May-15 00:52:47

thanks glittery. i don't even see it as i deserve more. I deserved honesty and respect at the least. The way i see it now is, he made that choice himself knowing the risk. so he only has himself to blame and lost a woman who loved him v much. Now he doesn't deserve that!

glitteryflange Tue 12-May-15 09:00:36

Well no but if he had any self respect and respect for you at the very least then it could have been a different story.

I don't think they even know why they do it sometimes do they. Ego boosts?

You knew something was off. Right now concentrate on you. Not him.

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