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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

STD help

51 replies

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 21:48

Totally shamed about this and if nc doesn't work, I'll be gutted.

So, I have a few funny little spots down below. I am pretty sure they are genital warts.

So, that's grim, gross, I'm upset and feel soiled.

But the other thing is this - I have had a boyfriend for the last 2 years, I have been totally faithful. Does this mean he hasn't? I dread that this is a possibility because I actually do trust him and it would be a catastrophic misjudgement on my behalf. I would be so gutted.

So, could it have laid dormant in me for 2 years plus?
Could he have passed it to me as he had it dormant (and didn't know/did know - more awful contemplations)?

Also, I just don't even know how to bring this up with him. The shame is intense because I don't know where it has come from - if I've put him at risk, I'll be equally disgusted.

Something I don't understand is I had 'some swabs' taken only a few weeks ago and everything was clear. Maybe that didn't include herpes?

If you know anything about this, please share, I'd be very thankful.

OP posts:

Report

Chipsahoythere · 10/05/2015 21:50

Do you think it looks like herpes or warts?
It can lie dormant for quite some time. And no, your full std check does not include herpes.

Is it sore? Do you feel unwell?

AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 21:51

Go to a sexual health clinic and get a full screen

They are friendly, non judgmental, down to earth places

You will have the results in a couple of weeks max

Both genital herpes and warts can lie dormant and either of you could have been infected without knowing. There is no reason for either of you to assume cheating from the other.

pocketsaviour · 10/05/2015 21:59

Herpes and genital warts are two different things, so you need to find out which it is (if either - it could be a skin irritation) and seek appropriate treatment.

You will then have a better idea of how long you have been infected for. If you have just had a clear pap smear then it's unlikely to be genital warts/HPV, however if they were swabs for something else (thrush? recurring cystitis?) then they won't have tested for everything.

If you don't want to go to your GP, go to your local sexual health clinic. They are very non-judgemental so don't worry.

Chipsahoythere · 10/05/2015 21:59

Yes, if you go now while you have the bumps they will be able to tell you what they are.

CMOTGilbertBlythe · 10/05/2015 21:59

Might they be infected glands/cysts/ingrown hairs/folliculitis? Definitely worth attending clinic before assuming the worst.

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:00

Thank you.

I have examined google images and although they are very small (TMI alert) they look similar. I thought they were just hair removal related at first, but I don't think so now.

I really don't think he has been cheating. I really don't.

So I have to tell him now (you genuinely wouldn't notice them for those wondering). I feel so disgusting. He has never said one mean thing to me in 2 years, but I can't help but think that this will put a slightly ewwwwww thing into a really lovely sex life and relationship.

OP posts:

Berrie1 · 10/05/2015 22:01

Your right when you say herpes could have been excluded from the tests. It might be a good idea to call your GP and find out what you were tested for.

Clearly, the first thing to do is to get tested. If it is genital warts they generally appear between 3 weeks and 6 months, so there could be a possibility that your partner has cheated. Also, they generally disappear after treatment. If it is genital herpes on the other hand, it is a long term STI and you will have episodes of them reappearing. It's possible that you or your partner have had genital herpes all along as it is not uncommon for this type of STI to go unnoticed.

You could speak to your partner about this now or wait until you have been tested. Have you noticed any symptoms on your partner?

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:04

x-post

I had a smear and swabs done only 3 weeks ago - I had a recurrent UTI and suspected cervical cancer due to weird bleeding (god I sound like a hypochondriac but I assure you I am not)

OP posts:

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:05

So, herpes and warts are different?

OP posts:

TokenGinger · 10/05/2015 22:07

Are they on the outside or inside?

Genital warts are bumpy and herpes are blister like. With you saying you thought it was related to hair removal, I'm guessing on the outside, and I'm sure warts are on the inside (moist areas) - could be wrong though.

Therefore, are they blister-like to indicate herpes? If not, you could be very right in thinking it's maybe just infected hair follicles x

TokenGinger · 10/05/2015 22:08

Yeh, they are different. Go on to google images and have a look at them both.

Mumfun · 10/05/2015 22:09

I went with a few funny little spots recently thinking the worst. It was neither herpes or warts. They couldnt say what it was. But thinking afterwards I had been feeling a bit under the weather so concluded in the end that it was a virus which just happened to cause a few spots there.

And no the general STD screen at a clinic does not include herpes . I think this is as herpes is regarded as a minor skin condition with none of the longer term health implications of gonorrhea, chlymidia AIDS etc.

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:17

I haven't noticed any symptoms on bf. Definitely not.

They are not like blisters though. Very small white bumps. So....?

My ds has just had shingles (seriously we sound gross) - would that have any connection in any way???

I just need to go to the doctor don't I?

Mumfun -your post gives me hope.

OP posts:

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/05/2015 22:17

Are they itchy and sore? If so could be herpes which could have been dormant in either of you until now, could also have been passed on through oral sex. Has your DP ever had facial cold sores?
Warts can also be dormant for some time too I think.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/05/2015 22:18

Herpes isn't possible to test for unless you have sores present.

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:19

Not itchy or sore

OP posts:

TokenGinger · 10/05/2015 22:20

Herpes would definitely start as blisters. And warts are just like warts. So it doesn't sound like either to be honest.

It sounds like infected hair follicles to me. If I shave in the wrong direction, this sometimes happens where I have an ingrowing hair.

Go to the doctors and get it looked at before going to the STD clinic. I'm sure they'll put your mind t ease and save you the trauma of going to the clinic.

If you have a relatively good relationship with your partner, just say to him, "Babe, do you think this might be related to your shingles", or "Darling, I think I might have made a boo boo shaving, could you look at this for me?"

If it's ingrowing hairs, he would be able to see faintly the hair underneath, unless you have very light pubic hair.

AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 22:21

I went to the sexual health clinic recently too with some new and unusual symptoms. I am in a long monogamous marriage. It was one of the most positive health experiences I have ever had ! The sexual health nurse was thorough, kind, knowledgeable, reassuring and down to earth.

I got tested for everything as a matter of course. All was negative but I am glad I got checked. Our intimate places can get funny things happening on occasion just like everywhere else without there being a doom-laden reason for it.

Go get your mind put at rest.

GayByrne · 10/05/2015 22:21

OP, you've had fab advice and I have nothing to offer on the diagnosis front.

One of the most faithful and chaste (?!!) women I know caught herpes from a boyfriend who didn't know he had it. She was devastated at the time (actually said to me, whilst clutching a Blacks medical dictionary, 'surely this is meant to happen to you not me' - I was a fun time girl). But she learned to live with it and enjoys normal and honest relationships.

I know it must seem like the end of the world right now, but you will be ok and it will all be ok in the end, and if it isn't ok, then it isn't the end.

Chin up kid.

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:23

Ok, thank you.

Funny how you feel better even just talking about it. The shame has been eating me up today. I will talk to him tomorrow and release my shame.

Because we certainly can't have sex until I know !

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 10/05/2015 22:25

There is no shame. Really, there isn't.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/05/2015 22:27

Really doesn't sound like herpes which is good! But you must get an appointment tomorrow while the symptoms are still there, some things need swabs from the sores for diagnosis.

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TokenGinger · 10/05/2015 22:30

I agree, there's no shame. Even if it IS warts or herpes, which it really doesn't sound like, there's no knowing whether it's from you or your partner, as previous posters have mentioned, it can lie dormant for years. So there's no shame. Neither you or your partner will now who's to "blame".

I'm sure you'll be fine though, it really doesn't sound like warts or herpes.

ewwwwyuck · 10/05/2015 22:33

Thank you all. Really

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 10/05/2015 22:34

There is a v simple home test for warts - if you apply a small amount of white vinegar to a wart it goes snowy white - the effect is startling.

And the vinegar seems like it would hurt, but it doesn't.

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