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Hand-holding required please

(7 Posts)
Prforone Sat 09-May-15 00:28:49

So tonight my BF of just over two years told me we were over. Gave me the "It's not you, it's me" crap speech, came round to collect the things he'd kept at my house, thanked me for the good times and said he hoped we could be friends.

I am so totally gutted as I didn't see it coming. My DD is being really brilliant about it and, for her sake, I've kept my chin up all evening but now she's in bed, I'm just sobbing and sobbing.

Feel so utterly alone. No family to speak of to comfort me and my friends, although fantastic, have their own lives to lead and don't need me to be a snivelling wreck around them.

I honestly don't know how to get over this one hmm

WorraLiberty Sat 09-May-15 00:31:20

I'm so sorry to hear this sad thanks

Don't underestimate your friends though. Of course they have their own lives to lead, but that doesn't mean they won't be there for you when you tell them.

But for now, there are plenty of us here smile

Prforone Sat 09-May-15 00:39:38

Thanks Worra. I just feel like such a failure. DD's dad left us when she was a baby and in the interim I've had one other relationship which lasted three years but fizzled out due to both of us realising we wanted different things.

To be dumped so rapidly with no real explanation sucks. The "It's not you, it's me" line is such a cop out.

Allalonenow Sat 09-May-15 00:47:57

Oh dear, it does really hurt I know, but have a warm drink, then try to get some rest. In the morning you can start to face the practical problems.

thanks for you. And your DD sounds to be a star

WorraLiberty Sat 09-May-15 01:02:24

Yes the rapid dumping would knock anyone sideways, it's particularly cruel and confusing.

I wouldn't connect your other relationships to this though. Tons of relationships break up when a baby is thrown into the mix, and the relationship that fizzled out...well that was a natural occurrence and I don't know anyone in my life who hasn't experienced that at some point.

I'm not going to say keep your chin up. I'm going to say cry, get angry, cry some more, punch the fuck out of your pillow and then cry again.

Once it's all out of your system (however long that takes) then is the time to realise that this has nothing to do with you being a failure, and everything to do with relationships in general.

Sometimes they deal us a hard blow, but then so do lots of things in life that we aren't personally responsible for.

AmyElliotDunne Sat 09-May-15 01:19:49

Wise words from Worra. Not much I can add to that, but if your bf can leave without even explaining properly what has led him to finish the relationship then you're better off without him. Even if it is 'him not you' (whatever that means) he should have the decency to talk to you about it before he got to the bag packing stage. That's just cruel.

flowers and brew

Hussarsataparty Sat 09-May-15 07:56:55

Sorry to hear this has happened. In the meantime, treat yourself as you would treat a close friend in this situation. Buy yourself comfort food for the weekend, get a trashy novel, watch some junk TV, cosy yourself up and let yourself cry, rant, do what you need to do. We are all here xx

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