I have been happily married for 22 years with 2 DDs age 13 and 21. We've had our ups and downs but mostly very happy. I have never had any trust issues with him until the 10 January this year. He had taken the dog for a walk and left his wallet in the hall (which he does all the time). To this day I have no idea what prompted me to go through it but I did. First let me tell you that he works in finance in Central London and frequently has lunches, occasional dinners etc. so to find a receipt for £130 for classy Italian restaurant in Mayfair was no surprise (the lunch receipt for Fri 9 Jan was for 2 people only so not especially cheap). My suspicions were aroused so I checked it against his diary. It was noted Lunch with (I have withheld female name) but she is a finance journalist with a noted UK journal. As she was not a client I thought this was a generous lunch indeed. On his return as we sat with the papers and tea we casually discussed our working week and checked diaries together for the coming week. As we were side by side and could see each others diary pages easily I said "Oh you had a lunch with the paper" and he said "yes it was hosted by them and there were about 12 of us". "Oh they splashed out at such a nice restaurant, was it a buffet or could you order a la carte", "just a buffet", "still I say lovely food and free" or words to that effect and he says yes it was really good food and was a freebie.
I am trying to remain cool but I feel my legs turning to jelly and my heart trying to burst through my chest. I make an excuse to go for a walk but before I do I check wallet and receipt is gone and not in his expenses pile either. I go for walk. He catches up with me on park bench about 45 mins later pretending to wonder what is up with me. All very calmly I tell him that I found the receipt but then I couldn't find it later and why did he lie. He admitted he had a lunch with said person and said that the receipt was in his expenses pile. I said no I checked very thoroughly and it was not. He said I must has missed it. It turned out he had it in his back pocket all the time so was trying to confuse me. He also changed meeting in diary to say it was lunch with * paper. He said eventually that he didn't want to tell me in case I was jealous (I have never, ever displayed jealousy before, I'm just not made that way, so why think I would be jealous, he has had many lunches with females before, it's work) I know for a fact there is nothing going on and she would be out of his league, successful, pretty, engaged and young. But I suspect he enjoyed her company for the wrong reasons. He finally admitted that he stupidly tried to cover his tracks and made the hole deeper every time he opened his mouth and that it was a problem he had with confrontation (which is true, he runs a mile at the thought of it). I have forgiven and moved on to a degree but it keeps popping back in my head and the anger and frustration surfaces all over again. I''m sure he's never been unfaithful as he is home most evenings and is a family man who is loving and kind to me and DDs. The trust thing has put a crack in the foundations even though it was a very silly one. Please, I would appreciate different viewpoints as I have not shared this with anyone. I'm just too proud I guess.
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7 replies
neelie21 · 07/05/2015 17:42
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