going through divorce and just had critical illness payout - any advice please

[greenberet]

has anyone had experience of this - been treated for breast cancer and X is now wanting proceeds from insurance policy to be put in the "pot". I am seeing sol tomorrow and just wondered what options are open to me. many thanks

[pocketsaviour]

Was it a joint insurance policy or one specific to you?

My instinct is that your solicitor will argue that the payout is specifically for you to make your treatment easier, pay for transport, childcare, etc., and on those grounds should belong solely to you.

However IANAL.

[Handywoman]

Oh my goodness. How awful (on many levels). Didn't want to read and run, but I think only a lawyer can answer that question.....

[flipflapsflop]

I would say you need his request in writing. and be specific. " I would like 50per cent of you critical health payment for cancer. I feel I deserve it".

[flipflapsflop]

that is up there with the worst in terms of entitlement. no idea where you stand legally, but morally he shouldn't have even thought about asking.

[Dowser]

Ask for it to be ring fenced. That should not be put in the pot.

[sakura]

COuldn't read and not comment. What a complete shit. He should be awarded a Mumsnet exh relationship board medal .
I like flipflapsflop's suggestion. He has to put it in writing that he deserves the pay out you got for having cancer.
Just unbelievable the lows they go to.

[Quitelikely]

Inhumane. I can't see a judge giving him any of that cash!

[wallaby73]

I'm currently going through breast cancer treatment - the buggering thing is I didn't have critical illness cover. That money is for YOU. YOU have the critical illness. The fact he has the gall to try and make a claim on it......however. Put emotions aside, seek legal advice, be practical. I find this kind of approach empowering. Oh, and he will never EVER have any sort of moral high ground. EVER! What a cheap stunt......

[Cabrinha]

Easy one this.
Agree in principle to throw it all into the pot.
Really.
Then say you'll be going after 95% of the pot because your economic situation is less certain due to illness.
Oh and you may not be able to work for a while, so after you've taken 95% of everything you'd better have some spousal maintenance too.

Or there's the short version: FUCK OFF.

I'm sorry you're going through both the health difficulty and the divorce

I think it is best left to your solicitor, who will simply say "no".

[Bogeyface]

Wow, that is one of the worst things I have read on here!

I would agree with seeing if you can get it ring fenced, and telling him to go fuck himself.

[Joysmum]

This isn't an asset, it's a provision for your future. Speak to your solicitor.

[TurnItIn]

Holy Smokes! I've read some low life shit on here but this really takes the biscuit.

I'm sorry you're facing this double whammy of poop.

[EuphemiaCoxton]

Don't tell him he can have it, you won't legally be able to change your mind

[greenberet]

thank you ladies for your words of support - i am touched that it generated this level of feeling - I already knew I was divorcing a prize twunt but the comments on here have just cemented it for me - joysmum thankyou down to solicitor to do her stuff!

[JessBear123]

I couldn't read and run! I just wanted to say how sorry I am your going through this and how disgusting someone can be! That is absolutely despicable. Like someone has already said just be relieved your divorcing the shit.

[Chuckitinthefuckitbucket]

no way?!?!?
I'm sorry you're going through such a bloody awful time and I honestly can not understand how anyone could be so fucking heartless.
to you op, I hope he doesn't get a penny of it!!!

[Joie78]

Hi, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I had breast cancer one year ago and had a critical illness payout. My ex-husband wanted half so we went to court in Jan. As the critical illness was taken out whilst we were married, it was classed as a matrimonial asset. However, the judge offset my ex's pension which was much more than mine against the equity in the house so I got most of that. Then, I had a greater share of the critical illness payment as it was my pain & suffering not his. So, even though it was classed as a matrimonial asset, the judge did it so I got most of the money. I wasted loads of money trying to negotiate with a husband who didn't care about my health & need for financial security for the future. Go straight to court. Please send me a message if you have any further questions. Xx

[Bogeyface]

Another shit house!

I am glad you came out of it well Joie, I hope your ex was fucking fuming!

What is wrong with these bastards that will take their wife having a potentially fatal illness as a fantastic opportunity to take half of her money to set up their new lives?!

Fucking bastards, the lot of them.

[SocialMediaAddict]

Fucking hell. That's shocking.

Good luck I hope you have a good lawyer.

[GoldfishCrackers]

Wow. Just wow. I am astonished that there's not just one but 2 such atrocious human beings out there who would stoop so low. Have they no shame?
I'm sorry you're going through all this.

[Joie78]

I am fine now, thank you, fingers crossed but I remember him shouting down the phone about the money 2 days after I had a mastectomy. Take him for everything you can. You'll need that money to ensure future financial security.

[lalalonglegs]

What a complete skidmark of a man. Get the most piranha-toothed lawyer you can find to eat him alive.

[RubbishMantra]

Reading this made me cry angry tears for you.

Some human beings have the capacity to be utterly revolting, don't they. But some time in the future, you will be able to rejoice that you don't have such a heartless wanker in your life.

Sorry, not much help. Offering handholding though.