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going through divorce and just had critical illness payout - any advice please

(38 Posts)
greenberet Thu 07-May-15 08:34:38

has anyone had experience of this - been treated for breast cancer and X is now wanting proceeds from insurance policy to be put in the "pot". I am seeing sol tomorrow and just wondered what options are open to me. many thanks

pocketsaviour Thu 07-May-15 09:15:38

Was it a joint insurance policy or one specific to you?

My instinct is that your solicitor will argue that the payout is specifically for you to make your treatment easier, pay for transport, childcare, etc., and on those grounds should belong solely to you.

However IANAL.

Handywoman Thu 07-May-15 09:34:13

Oh my goodness. How awful (on many levels). Didn't want to read and run, but I think only a lawyer can answer that question.....

flipflapsflop Thu 07-May-15 10:01:21

I would say you need his request in writing. and be specific. " I would like 50per cent of you critical health payment for cancer. I feel I deserve it".

flipflapsflop Thu 07-May-15 10:03:27

that is up there with the worst in terms of entitlement. no idea where you stand legally, but morally he shouldn't have even thought about asking.

Dowser Thu 07-May-15 10:06:48

Ask for it to be ring fenced. That should not be put in the pot.

sakura Thu 07-May-15 10:08:04

COuldn't read and not comment. What a complete shit. He should be awarded a Mumsnet exh relationship board medal . shock
I like flipflapsflop's suggestion. He has to put it in writing that he deserves the pay out you got for having cancer.
Just unbelievable the lows they go to.

Quitelikely Thu 07-May-15 10:26:31

Inhumane. I can't see a judge giving him any of that cash!

wallaby73 Thu 07-May-15 10:33:23

I'm currently going through breast cancer treatment - the buggering thing is I didn't have critical illness cover. That money is for YOU. YOU have the critical illness. The fact he has the gall to try and make a claim on it......however. Put emotions aside, seek legal advice, be practical. I find this kind of approach empowering. Oh, and he will never EVER have any sort of moral high ground. EVER! What a cheap stunt......

Cabrinha Thu 07-May-15 13:51:39

Easy one this.
Agree in principle to throw it all into the pot.
Then say you'll be going after 95% of the pot because your economic situation is less certain due to illness.
Oh and you may not be able to work for a while, so after you've taken 95% of everything you'd better have some spousal maintenance too.

Or there's the short version: FUCK OFF.

I'm sorry you're going through both the health difficulty and the divorce flowers

I think it is best left to your solicitor, who will simply say "no".

Bogeyface Thu 07-May-15 14:38:51

Wow, that is one of the worst things I have read on here!

I would agree with seeing if you can get it ring fenced, and telling him to go fuck himself.

Joysmum Thu 07-May-15 15:12:58

This isn't an asset, it's a provision for your future. Speak to your solicitor.

CallMeNancy Thu 07-May-15 15:50:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CallMeNancy Thu 07-May-15 15:54:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TurnItIn Thu 07-May-15 16:09:44

Holy Smokes! I've read some low life shit on here but this really takes the biscuit.

I'm sorry you're facing this double whammy of poop.

EuphemiaCoxton Thu 07-May-15 17:09:22

Don't tell him he can have it, you won't legally be able to change your mind

greenberet Thu 07-May-15 17:15:42

thank you ladies for your words of support - i am touched that it generated this level of feeling - I already knew I was divorcing a prize twunt but the comments on here have just cemented it for me - joysmum thankyou down to solicitor to do her stuff!

JessBear123 Thu 07-May-15 17:29:19

I couldn't read and run! I just wanted to say how sorry I am your going through this and how disgusting someone can be! That is absolutely despicable. Like someone has already said just be relieved your divorcing the shit. flowers

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket Thu 07-May-15 17:34:32

shock no way?!?!?
I'm sorry you're going through such a bloody awful time and I honestly can not understand how anyone could be so fucking heartless.
flowers to you op, I hope he doesn't get a penny of it!!!

Joie78 Thu 07-May-15 17:47:39

Hi, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I had breast cancer one year ago and had a critical illness payout. My ex-husband wanted half so we went to court in Jan. As the critical illness was taken out whilst we were married, it was classed as a matrimonial asset. However, the judge offset my ex's pension which was much more than mine against the equity in the house so I got most of that. Then, I had a greater share of the critical illness payment as it was my pain & suffering not his. So, even though it was classed as a matrimonial asset, the judge did it so I got most of the money. I wasted loads of money trying to negotiate with a husband who didn't care about my health & need for financial security for the future. Go straight to court. Please send me a message if you have any further questions. Xx

Bogeyface Thu 07-May-15 18:08:03

Another shit house!

I am glad you came out of it well Joie, I hope your ex was fucking fuming!

What is wrong with these bastards that will take their wife having a potentially fatal illness as a fantastic opportunity to take half of her money to set up their new lives?!

Fucking bastards, the lot of them. angry

SocialMediaAddict Thu 07-May-15 18:22:12

Fucking hell. That's shocking.

Good luck I hope you have a good lawyer.

GoldfishCrackers Thu 07-May-15 18:30:45

Wow. Just wow. I am astonished that there's not just one but 2 such atrocious human beings out there who would stoop so low. Have they no shame?
I'm sorry you're going through all this. flowers

Joie78 Thu 07-May-15 19:27:06

I am fine now, thank you, fingers crossed but I remember him shouting down the phone about the money 2 days after I had a mastectomy. Take him for everything you can. You'll need that money to ensure future financial security.

lalalonglegs Thu 07-May-15 19:38:29

What a complete skidmark of a man. Get the most piranha-toothed lawyer you can find to eat him alive. angry

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