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would you be worried about posting things here in case somebody recognised you?

(46 Posts)
VixforVictory Tue 05-May-15 23:15:05

I was about to start a new thread but I am worried that if somebody is 'watching', they will know straightaway that it's me.

CMOTGilbertBlythe Tue 05-May-15 23:18:27

Name change, then they can't link it to your usual username. Also change some of the details.

Fontella Tue 05-May-15 23:23:26

I must admit it does bother me sometimes, and I still haven't figured out how to namechange even though people have explained it several times.

I very often write a long reply to something and then don't post it because it's got too many identifying features. Some stories are just so unique and specific that if anyone known in real life was reading it .. they would know it was me. There's some things I would love to write about on here but just can't - real people, real events.

At other times I will maybe change a few details deliberately - time spans, locations, maybe amalgamate a couple of events etc. ... just try and disguise things a little so I can still tell the gist of the story without the indentifying features.

It's difficult, and I do think most posters probably wonder from time to time if they are giving away too much information.

Are you thinking of one person in particular identifying you, or just anyone who might recognise you in general terms?

VixforVictory Tue 05-May-15 23:23:43

Difficult one... the name isn't the problem but the issue is! confused

VixforVictory Tue 05-May-15 23:25:32

One person in particular.. it may be me just being paranoid but as you say, sometimes the story is too unique!

Gralick Wed 06-May-15 02:33:28

I got over this after several times thinking I recognised a poster, only to realise later it couldn't possibly be the same person. Human stories are astonishingly similar.

It would be unadvisable to write names of places or people, and you'd need to reframe any events you described if they were really uncommon. "DP walked out on me and my two DC while we were all stuck in the car during a motorway pile-up" would make you recognisable, but not if he buggered off while you were all in a shopping centre!

The main things to watch out for are threads like baby names, chatty ones about where you live, what car you drive, etc. It's easy to match up a poster's little disclosures of identifying details.

BitOfFun Wed 06-May-15 02:41:47

No, because I would never post anything very personal.

It is still worth looking through past threads though for similar situations to get advice. There is nothing new under the sun.

BG2015 Wed 06-May-15 05:04:57

My ex has tracked me down and found out something I wish he hadnt.

Name changed now as I believe he was stalking me.

newnamesamegame Wed 06-May-15 06:05:14

It's already happened to me smile (with a good friend, as opposed to an ex or anything more sinister). Freaked me right out. I try to change a couple of details if I'm relating anything very personal now.

WeAreEternal Wed 06-May-15 06:12:11

I've posted that much obviously identifiable info on here over the years under this NN that I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if quite a few people recognised me, I know a few already have as the have mentioned it in RL. It doesn't bother me though.
If I wanted to post something very personal I would change a few key details to make it less obvious, and possibly name change.

Yes. I have a few previous NC's, some I still occasionally use, and a couple set up for use when/ if I need them in future. I work in a fairly specific job sector so if I ever felt I could give advice (for example) I have a NC ready to go, that I've never used, so no one in RL could say it was definitely me. If I gave advice under my current name and someone in RL saw it, it would be obvious.

Plus, the PILs and my own family are a pain, and I suspect they at least come on MN occasionally.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 06-May-15 07:29:53

I'm probably "out" to my other main talkboard, but I've shared some really raw stuff with them over the years, and they with me. I take care not to name my employers, and never describe their business in detail. DW and I don't share much online bar the odd picture, and have our own laptops.

And on top of it all, I care nothing for the opinion of others, bar the very few who would forgive me anything*, and vice versa.

*Obviously not the last rum truffle, or remarks about my choice of wine.

Mehitabel6 Wed 06-May-15 07:35:15

I make sure that I don't post anything that makes me recognisable- I always change small details.

holeinmyheart Wed 06-May-15 08:59:45

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mrsmeerkat Wed 06-May-15 09:04:53

I think there are too many users on mn. I am on an Irish board and have recognised two people who were pregnant at the same time as me and on the same month boardm hence why I moved to mumsnet.

I wouldn't post baby names or location etc I name change every two months.

ElizaPickford Wed 06-May-15 09:06:01

I've recognised RL friends on here and been recognised. I am quite paranoid and NC a lot!

Anniegetyourgun Wed 06-May-15 09:28:14

No fewer than three people who were aware I post on Mumsnet picked me out independently within 5 minutes, not through personal details (though I probably do give too many) but from my posting style. Apparently I write exactly how I speak blush Mind you I don't think I've got anything to hide...

Anniegetyourgun Wed 06-May-15 09:28:40

Pooh, a rare emoticon failure there blush

GoshNotAnotherOne Wed 06-May-15 09:59:53

I want to post too. Now I'm worried the person I want to post about will think you are me!

Rousebarnlane Wed 06-May-15 10:14:11

My ex and my current partner know I use Mumsnet because I often mention it.

I think I've even quoted some Mumsnet threads on my Facebook before, so no doubt my family may also know I'm on here.

But then again, I can only really think of 2 people who cba to actively seek me out on here and they're fairly obsessive gossipmongers themselves (my Mum and one of my sisters), so yes, I do try to be careful what I write.

But sometimes, you just need to tell the whole story to get the right advice and opinions.

As always, once you put your first online footprint down, you're trackable forever thereafter, so start as you mean to go on.

I'd like to know how to have a thread deleted, that way I can post about relationship issues and after a few hours delete it in case my boyfriend has been looking. Then again, I know that he was very active on a work related but quite social forum a few years ago and was a moderator too I think, yet I've never felt compelled to search out his posts. I suppose I wouldn't want to come across any cringeful stuff (which we are all guilty of) or flirting.

It's never occurred to me to seek out people I know who I think might post on here, but I'm pretty sure I'd know which boards they'd post on if I did. That's not why I'm here - snooping - that's what Facebook's for! grin
I'm here for personal advice and to gain insight from other threads.

Rousebarnlane Wed 06-May-15 10:20:22

And thinking about it, my username and what I've just written poignantly out to me to anyone in RL grin what a donut!

Dowser Wed 06-May-15 10:37:24

Can't believe you put all that about Cognito. Hole in my heart.

I'm sure she's shared personal stuff on here but it feels wrong to see it all parrotted out and singled out.

Some people may be happy with that but I feel uncomfortable.

GaryBaldy Wed 06-May-15 10:39:11

I NC regularly or like Fontella change a few details here and there.

Obv if you NC you risk those who pile in and call troll...

GaryBaldy Wed 06-May-15 10:40:59

If you don't want something to appear in google searches, there is always the other place that you can post in.

pocketsaviour Wed 06-May-15 10:46:42

It never worries me. But then I tend to be very open and straightforward in everything. I kind of go by "If you're about to do/say something you wouldn't want everyone in your life to know about, you probably shouldn't do/say it."

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