We have been together for over 10 years. DH is very laid-back, never gets angry, a bit unmotivated. We've had a lot of stress since we've been together, mainly due to financial problems and lack of communication. We have 2 DCs.
DH lies about stupid stuff constantly. The last example was yesterday. He told me that his client had offered to take us all out for a late lunch to a nice restaurant (this is true). We had quite a lot planned, but we could definitely fit it in. They hadn't confirmed the time so in the morning I suggested he call him. He sent him a text instead. We waited all day for Client to get back to confirm the time. In the meantime, we went to a shopping centre and I bought myself a cheap dress, but one that was suitable for a nice lunch (I only had jeans). All day I kept asking him if Client had got in touch. All day he told me he hadn't.
He got a text at 1.30 pm and I thought I saw Client's name on his phone, but DH didn't say anything. I kept asking and asking, and he kept saying he hadn't been in touch.
It turned out he had. Client had texted to ask if we could make it earlier. After lie upon lie upon lie, DH finally admitted that he didn't want to go so lied about not getting the text. To him and us.
I am furious. Why not just bloody tell me?
This isn't the first time he's done something like this. In fact, our whole relationship has been based on lies. For the first couple of years we were together, I was convinced his family didn't like me. He insisted they loved me, thought I was great, etc. then I read a text from his sister saying "you know none of us can stand MythicalChicken…". He lied recently about one of his mates coming to work for the company when I knew he'd turned the job down. He kept the lie going for weeks. It's such a stupid lie, why do it?
The thing is, because he lies so much I can't trust him. There have been a couple of times over the years where he has been on a business trip and I haven't been able to get hold of him. I don't think he'd cheat on me, but giving his form for lying, I just don't know.
I feel shut out from his life and very, very lonely. I have no friends where we live and am very isolated. I told him I'd had enough and I want a divorce. He said he doesn't want that. Unfortunately, DS aged 10 heard and now he's crying.
Thanks for reading. It's good to get it out. I don't know what to do but counselling is out as there is nothing like that here.
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Relationships
So sick of DH's stupid lies
MythicalChicken · 03/05/2015 04:20
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