Oh my God! First Boyfriend is in contact via friendsreunited!

[Rhiannon]

Just got an email from first boyfriend's sister saying he'd love to get in touch! Oh no! It was 18 years ago! Really don't want to meet him, advice please girlies! R

[candy]

My first boyfriend also got in touch via the site. We exchanged a few jokey emails about old times, then realised we'd not really got anything else to say to each other - why don't you do that? Present Partner was v happy when past partner stopped emailing tho!

[Rhiannon]

star, he was 5 stone overweight when I last saw him! To be honest only went out with him so I could get in the gang, (very shallow 16 year old!). Told DH, he's not bothered but I haven't got anything to say to the guy. R

[sis]

can I suggest a "white lie" along the lines of "DH not being too happy with the idea". I'm sure most people would back off - they may think your dh is overly jealous, but if you never see them again, who cares what they think? good luck.

[Rhiannon]

sis, he might then think he must be a God worth running off with! I think I'll forget about it and pretend I've been on holiday if she emails again, what do you think, does that sound awful? R

[jasper]

Rhiannon, can't you just completely ignore the email from his sister?
Lots of people rarely if ever check their email, or change addresses so the one on friends reunited isn't valid or whatever.
On the other hand we would all love to hear the tale if you do get in touch.

[SueDonim]

No need to reply if you don't want. The other party won't be able to get your email address unless you answer their message.

[tigermoth]

You could deliberately misunderstand the intent of the message, and reply saying you'll like to make a class reunion if that's what he's organising.

Rhiannon, why did he get his sister to email you? Is your ex without an email address or is he just too shy?

But I do think it's really nice to have some links to your past, though, and this as a rare opportunity to renew an old friendship, expecially if he was one of a great gang.

[Tillysmummy]

How long ago was it ? He hasn't said he wants to meet up has he? Just get in touch ?? Just don't reply.

[EmmaM]

We were talking about this today. One guy I know had a message from an ex-girlfriend he knew about 7 years ago. Anyway, she sounded like she was still carrying a torch for him, lots of weird things remembered etc. He emailed her back and sorry sweetheart, but I'm gay. And left it at that. (He is by the way.) Another guy was contacted by a old schoolmate and he has chosen simply to delete any messages.

Don't feel bad about giving them the brush off. You're not obliged either to give a reason just say something like you don't think its a good idea, but thanks for the message, goodbye and best wishes.

[Rhiannon]

SueDonim, good thinking, she doesn't actually have the email address does she as it's come via the website. Will definitely not reply have decided as it was 18 years ago and I was 16 and am really not interested. R

[Tinker]

Oh, I'd have replied! I contacted the brother of an old boyfriend (we were together for 5 years) just to catch up on him. I knew he was married and presumed he'd have kids. No ulterior motives, just being nosey. And his brother sent me a really nice reply.

Having said that, I'm not sure I would have contacted the boyfriend himself if he was on since I wouldn't have wanted to, potentially, cause any problem between him and his wife.

[MandyD]

I haven't forked out the £5 to join Friends Reunited yet, but even so I've been emailed by my 2 best friends from when I was at school!

AND an ex-boyfriend (I think I was 14 at the time and he was 15). We exchanged 2 emails I think, he was mega-flashy at the time and I don't think he's changed by the sound of it. Except that he now runs an international company so is probably incredibly rich! Think he said he'd been married and divorced 3 times so his attitude to women couldn't have matured at all!!

[Tinker]

Has anyone else received a FR Valentine's card? It's really spooked me out and I just can't tell who it might be from the message. My subscription expired a few months ago so don't know if it's a stunt to get me to pay again or, more likely, someone playing a game. But, must admit, am intrigued and not sure whether to reply!

[SimonHoward]

Tinker

I haven't gotten one.

No-one on there loves me.

Sniff, sniff.

Gonna go and do my usual Valentines day sulk now.

[EmmaTMG]

Tinker, I was a real cheapskate and sent DH a valentines card via FR as it's free!! Didn't get one back though, he got me a real one.