I posted here a couple of months ago on a thread about what you can't tell anyone.
I posted about how I felt near the edge.
6 months ago my mum became ill.She lives with my sister who has systemic schleroderma - an auto immune condition that affects blood vessels - it hasn't the best prognosis - she'd already been in itu with a hypertensive crisis and renal failure. They had to amputate her hand and she ended up with a catheter and a degree of faecal incontinence. She was in hospital for 6 months.
Anyway - my mum wasn't well - I tried to get the doctor out but she wasn't having any of it.I came up to take her to the doctors but she wouldn't go!
I live 200 miles away and I am a single parent of two boys - I also work almost full time so it was a bit tricky -eventually she had to be admitted to hospital, and and there they found she had ca lung with liver and brain mets. That night my sister was admitted to hospital with pancreatitis - she was seriously ill. After a week, they put my mum forward for palliative chemo, and said she could come home. She lived with my sister and she was in hospital - They also said that she needed a package of ccare which she was refusing. Because of the brain mets she was falling everywhere and wasn't safe. In addition - I was trying to sort their house out cos sister is a hoarder - they had rats and were knee deep in used incontinence pads. Prior to this they wouldn't let me help.
I thought I'd sort out the house whilst my sister was in hospital but it wasn't yet safe for mum.so I had to put her into respite care
Meanwhile my sister went to theatre for a drain put in her pancreas - she lost so much blood that she arrested - they got her back and she went to itu. After a few days she is extubated and makes her way back to the general ward. I break it to her that mum is terminally ill and is in respite. She went bonkers!
Two days later my mum threw off a clot somewhere - and died. I was with her when she died. Sister was another two months in hospital, so I sorted out the funeral and probate and the house. Then social services ran me ragged as I tried in vain to get support for her on discharge. She went back to their old house, and needed a lot of my support and TLC. She started to come round a bit and finally went back to work part time.
In the meantime my kids are wondering who Iam, my work is suffering, the dishwasher has died, and I have no kitchen flooring cos of a leaking pipe. I have been up there practically every weekend for 6 months...
Today - I was just saying to my workmate that things are really looking up - it's been 6 months since mum died, it's spring, works fine - kids are thriving and my sister is really improving.
An hour later the police phone me - my sister didn't pitch up for work and cos of her history they sent the police round. They broke down the door and called an ambulance. She was on her way to hospital.
I phone up the hospital and she's died.
They think it was a massive heart attack and they tried to resuscitate her but couldn't.
My workmates brought me home but I'm in shock. The youngest boy keeps going into the bathroom and locking himself in to cry. There has to be a coroner involved and tomorrow I do the long lonely trek to see her and sort out another funeral. I can't do this again...
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Relationships
struggling...
knackered69 · 14/04/2015 23:15
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