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DRY 7!!!

(1000 Posts)
mollyonthemove Fri 03-Apr-15 20:10:06

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free grin. come and join us brew

TeapotDictator Fri 03-Apr-15 20:44:11

Well done mollster grin

Holly - I get what you're saying; I'm a single parent and was very hooked into the "this is hard, I deserve it" thinking that had me reaching for wine after the children were in bed.

When I went along to the Allen Carr seminar, you had to describe what kind of drinker you were. I put "problem drinker", but really pondered what to write and had thought about putting "binge drinker". My problem is/was more of one where once I start, I will finish a bottle... once I start, I will drink more quickly than other people... once I start, I will want another glass more conspicuously than other people I notice... once I start, if I'm sharing a bottle of wine I will be narrowing my eyes at the other person to make sure they don't have too much wink... etc etc etc. But I was drinking probably 1-3 times a week so kept convincing myself I didn't have a problem. The main thing is, I just feel so much better since stopping.

Still don't have the exercise bug though. This is next on my list!

sydneysideup Fri 03-Apr-15 21:16:15

Argh! Thought I'd lost you all there for a minute. Thank The Lord not.
Hope everyone's enjoying the Easter break, we're up in Northumberland for a week. An alcohol free holiday means enjoying the days hangover free and sleeping like a like a log at night, yippee!

I'll post more soon. Hang on in there everyone tbugrin

HollyEllis Fri 03-Apr-15 21:16:54

Yes - I'm not v good at stopping once started which is why I find DH having drink in the house tricky.

Anyway have decided I'm going to stop from tomorrow as have got to the harder weeks of my running which is going well so feeling motivated.

CornChips Fri 03-Apr-15 21:26:17

...races in..... skids to a sliding stop....... sips herbal tea in failed attempt to look cool....

Hi everyone!

mollyonthemove Fri 03-Apr-15 21:31:33

Great stuff holly. I also still get a bit fed up with dh having drink in the house, but I kind of mentally remove myself and let him get on with it. I have half heartedly suggested he stop and I was worried for a while about his intake but I think I was projecting my massive problem on to his fairly meagre intake! he does occasionally drink more than I'd like but I can't stop that.

Stay close and keep talking grin

mollyonthemove Fri 03-Apr-15 21:32:07

Have a fab time Sydney! sober holidays rock!

LastGleaming Fri 03-Apr-15 21:58:39

Hey all.

Holly I totally get the end of the day 'I deserve it after dealing with the ups and downs of parenthood' cravings. It's quite engrained in our society I think, dbro has always laughingly called wine 'mummy's coping juice'. Have you read 'The Sober Revolution?'. Running is awesome, if not slightly addictive itself, I started c25k Feb last year myself and loved it.

I see your herbal tea and raise you a swig of some sort of spinach and chia seed concoction Corn grin After my 4 mile run <polishes halo> and hides the egg I've pinched out of the dc's stash for their hunt. There's far too many of them for two los

Bit more chipper tonight. Have had a blissful two nights of toddler freedom while she visits gps... but seems too bloody quiet and dare I say it, was a little bored without her. Bit more prepared for the easter holiday chaos now.

Enjoy your hols sydney!

CornChips Sat 04-Apr-15 05:58:09

have a fab time sydney!

spinach and chia...... hmmmm.......

I took on board your advice about not worrying about sugar and ate a pack of malteser bunnies. smile Today i have decided that evey time I have a craving I will go for a 10 minute walk instead.Much better!!!!

have a good day everyone!

Sorelip Sat 04-Apr-15 08:09:49

I don't usually post but I occasionally lurk. I had a lapse last night and I enjoyed it but I know that if I carry on drinking I will ruin my life.

CornChips Sat 04-Apr-15 12:09:30

Welcome Sorelip. Good to have you with us. smile How are you today?

... Random things I love about being sober... episode 154 .... when DH comes home from walking the dogs he no longer sniffs my breath to see if I have been drinking. Feel free to add your own!

sydneysideup Sat 04-Apr-15 20:00:34

Hi sorelip welcome - I was a lurker here for months before I dared to post.

Meanwhile here in lovely Northumberland I am staying in a cottage belonging to someone who clearly loves evilsnarkybitchjuice champagne even more than I did in my deluded past...

There are vats of champagne corks around the place for decoration and there are even framed collections of the little metal bits that come of the top. What the actual?????

And it's a beautiful, tasteful cottage apart from that. Bizarre! I'll try and upload a photo.

mollyonthemove Sun 05-Apr-15 10:10:36

Welcome sorelip. hope things are OK.

Oh blimey Sydney - that is really irritating. I admit I have a tiny half bottle of champagne with a flower in it - I think it was some occasion or other and I just liked the bottle, but everywhere?? confused

Post holiday blues settling in sad. Trying to be grateful that we had such a lovely break and appreciate it (which I soooo do) but sometimes I think was it worth it! So fed up now. Mother coming over today (why do I do this?) which will be hell, I just feel it. It's a year since she fell over and was in hospital for so long and I know we'll be reminded of it all bloody day - she keeps a careful note of absolutely everything in her 'misery book' as I call it. Every single slight anyone has ever done to her, every emotion she has ever felt (usually 'depressed and lonely today'). Can't wait!

Anyway, happy Easter!! despite the misery to be endured grin , we have a chocolate hunt in the garden and at least I know that her visit will inspire a run tonight grin

Have a fab day all x

sydneysideup Sun 05-Apr-15 22:21:30
Link to the last thread.

Lovely lovely day here, boat out to the Farne Islands - now how much sweeter that was knowing in a previous life I'd have prob been hungover and not really able to cope with the swell or the aroma de seal colony.

Hope your mum was relatively harmless Molly. Saw a sign today 'no such thing as a dog poo fairy'. How about 'no such thing as an Other People's Shit Fairy'?

Hope everyone's doing well.

HollyEllis Sun 05-Apr-15 23:56:45

Evening all. Hope you had a lovely day filled with all the chocolate you desire.

I listened to the podcast about triggers recommended on the last post and it was great. I find some of the jargonny bits on them a bit inpenetrable but when they get to the real people talking its very helpful to know that what you are feeling is the same as many others who have managed to get through them.

As a result I got through today's dramas (DD is v hard to handle atm and her and DH are at each others throats the whole time) and eventually admitted defeat by going to bed early rather than opening a bottle of wine.

TeapotDictator Mon 06-Apr-15 10:39:36

Morning all, beautiful sunny day here in London.

Holly - well done for getting through yesterday. I'm glad you found the podcast useful. I listen to one every day (a new addiction? wink) but find it so so useful to listen to other people talking. I honestly think one of the main reasons I've been able to stop drinking was having the realisation that the "kind of person" who needed/wanted to stop drinking was someone Just Like Me, rather than the old stereotype of the smelly old man on a park bench. And it was only by reading blogs online and listening to things like the Bubble Hour that I was able to make that mental transition.

Lucy - was thinking about you this Easter, how was your choc-fest?! grin I gorged on chocolate yesterday and the day before, and have to say it left me feeling very ill. Packed all choc remnants off with the children, who are now away for a week, and I'm back to clean living as of today. I've been off most sugar for several months but was shocked at how quickly I turned into a raving loony cramming it into my mouth this weekend, and how awful it made me feel. I definitely have 'cross-addiction' issues going on there and need to give sugar a wide berth...

TeapotDictator Mon 06-Apr-15 10:40:58

sydney - glad you're having a lovely hols. I love reading about the 'then and now' thoughts we all have at times like these... it really does never get boring waking up without a hangover!

Lucy2610 Mon 06-Apr-15 12:40:59

Afternoon peeps! <couldn't find you there for a bit and was feeling slightly panicky> Been away for Easter - rainy Cornwall, not like Poldark at all wink
Corn yes please to coming along. Would be lovely to meet you smile
Teapot Had a chocolate brownie on Good Friday for pudding, one mini Creme Egg of my DS on Saturday and DH bought me a box of Monty Bonjangle Choccy Scoffy truffles for Easter and had 2 of them last night. That's it - oh and honey on my toast this morning. Actually quite scared to start in case I can't stop - sound familiar!! tbugrin
sydney ffs - corks is one thing but the foils?! confused
Welcome Holly and Sorelip!

LastGleaming Mon 06-Apr-15 19:51:27

That's very odd Sydney.

Glorious day here too only thing is it put me in a strong mind for a drink sad Did the playing the tape to the end but the one thing that did hit home was realising that I had not one bottle in mind. Goes to show I don't think I'll ever be a moderate drinker.

HollyEllis Tue 07-Apr-15 17:23:57

Yesterday was not good. The ongoing DD saga is taking its toll. I feel cheered up when I read the teenager threads on this site (she's a preteen) but I feel that I am partly to blame for her behaviour and can't really see an easy way to make it better.

I held out till late and then succumbed to the lure of a left over 2 glasses of wine in the fridge. And now I've got into that maybe I could just drink a little bit mindset again.

I am really struggling with this and anything that anyone can say to explain how they got past it would be helpful.

TeapotDictator Tue 07-Apr-15 17:44:34

Sorry to hear things are tough for you at the moment Holly. I found that being in the 'shall I, shan't I?" mindset is the hardest mindset to be in. It's like when I gave up smoking, as soon as I entertained the thought that I could have a cigarette, that suddenly not having a cigarette felt impossible.

I found myself pondering having a drink after my final hearing for the divorce (in a few weeks' time). My lawyer has already mentioned several times that I simply MUST celebrate afterwards. But when I feel wobbly and find myself starting to entertain that thought, I try to break it down into what it really means. In that case, it means having a glass of wine - and then probably the best part of two bottles of wine. It will no doubt mean me wobbling home making a bit of a tit of myself in the process, and waking up the next morning feeling like utter shit.

I'd try to take things one day at a time right now, and break down your danger times as much as you need to so that you know how to plan your way through it. Is there a set time of day or part of the day that you find yourself starting to waver? Think of an alternative way to 'treat' yourself through these cravings. If necessary go onto Soberistas and post in the chat room there for people to sit with you until the moment has passed. If it's while you're cooking and you would normally reach for the fridge to get some wine, make sure you have something else you'd really like to drink and whatever snack feels like a treat instead.

Lucy2610 Tue 07-Apr-15 18:02:30

Hey Holly getting sober momentum is the hardest thing and once we allow ourselves to entertain the idea of having a drink the jig was up I found. Something that I used a great deal in the early days is called the 15 minute rule which you can read here. And as teapot said change up your routine, have an alternative treat available - whether it's an alcohol free drink or chocolate. Another biggie that AA advocate is look out for being HALT - hungry, angry, lonely or tired as these can be triggers. Don't be too hard on yourself it can be tough in the beginning but it is worth sticking with it smile

mollyonthemove Tue 07-Apr-15 19:57:18

Well I am HAT angry Hungry after a twelve hour day at work , Tired ditto and bloody Angry as it's our wedding anniversary and I have no meal or recognition - he bought me a smoothie maker yesterday which was lovely, but, seriously, first day back at work twelve hours worked and not even a bowl of oven chips? I'm really pissed off.

mollyonthemove Tue 07-Apr-15 21:17:36

blush so now I feel terrible. Was sulking up here and he suddenly appeared with a lovely meal and a glass of gorgeous blackcurrant and vanilla, followed by a strawberry smoothie. blush That'll teach me!

LastGleaming Wed 08-Apr-15 10:12:15

blush molly. Hope you had a fab wedding anniversary by the end of it. I love my smoothie maker, barely a day goes by I don't use it. Black cherry and raw cocao is far too delicious.

How are you now Holly? I agree getting the momentum to actually start is the hardest part, same as smoking. For me I was always 'I'll start tomorrow' until tomorrow came when it was the same thing. Danger zones I identified as making dinner and after dinner. During dinner I would keep myself occupied clearing out bits of the kitchen, after dinner take the kids out. The two of them playing up all day is also a trigger or someone annoying me but I'm still working on that smile

Only thing that has really kept me going the past few days has been I'm damned if I'm setting back my non drinking and smoking counters back to zero and the two will go hand-in-hand, I know that. So 100 days today (and nearly three months off the ciggies).

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