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I’m not crazy to still be bothered by this am I?

(51 Posts)
whateverate Mon 16-Mar-15 20:05:55

I've named changed for this as will out me with dps sis.

try to keep it short last year I found a receipt for a sex toy and asked DP about it (assumed it was a present for me!) after first saying that he’d bought it for a male friend for a joke he eventually admitted he’s bought it for a female friend of his sisters who he’s known for years, he said at a party his sister had it came up that this woman had never had one and he bought her one because he thought it would be funny. I was annoyed that he’d buy something so intimate for another woman but he convinced me that it was just a joke and that there was nothing to worry about.

This weekend his sister was over and I mentioned it assuming she was in on the ‘joke’ and she didn’t know what I was talking about, said she didn’t remember the conversation and told DP it was weird

now I feel like a fool for being convinced this is ok. I have no other reason to be suspicious and am sure nothing is going on between them but I can’t get how he thought it was ok or her actually as she accepted it and knows its from him

StaircaseAtTheUniversity Mon 16-Mar-15 20:09:09

That explanation can't be true. If I found out my DP had bought a sex you for anyone else, I would be very suspicious.

PamDooveOrangeJoof Mon 16-Mar-15 20:14:37

I would say he bought it for a woman who wasn't his sisters mate and that convo never happened, hence her knowing nothing about j

Did you post about it on here as it sounds familiar.

pocketsaviour Mon 16-Mar-15 20:15:32

Right. so he lied and said it was a "joke" for a male friend, then when that was too transparent he lied and said it was a "joke" for a female friend.

Do you know this woman? Because I would ask her straight out, "Did my boyfriend buy you a sex toy?"

Empha14 Mon 16-Mar-15 20:16:26

He's lying.

Buying for a male friend is weird but I can see how someone might do it for a 'joke' bit of lad 'banter'.

The second story, that's just very weird. Buying a sex toy for his sisters friend because he thought it would be funny. Weird and a lie.

Word of advice, the more convoluted a story is the more it's likely to be a lie. This just strikes of someone very quickly making something up on the spot.

Only1scoop Mon 16-Mar-15 20:17:20

I think it was a lie.... and even if it's not that's not really acceptable is it.

I wouldn't let it go Id want the truth.

AlternativeTentacles Mon 16-Mar-15 20:20:45

Come on - how on earth would that be the truth?

PamDooveOrangeJoof Mon 16-Mar-15 20:27:37

It's probably nothing to do with this woman either so I wouldn't bd asking her! He's just made it up totally and bought it for someone completely different probably.
Both of those lies were pretty outrageous! I'd say he's bang to rights

AgentProvocateur Mon 16-Mar-15 20:28:57

Did you really believe him, or were you turning a blind eye? It sounds like a complete barrowload of bollocks.

Twinklestein Mon 16-Mar-15 20:45:38

Did you post on here when you found it? I remember a similar thread.

Although Ive no doubt there are many such stories...

whateverate Mon 16-Mar-15 21:10:15

no not posted this before. I do believe him, it's strange but I don't know what other explanations there are that aren't also strange

loveyoutothemoon Mon 16-Mar-15 21:15:33

Why are you posting on here if you believe him?
He's lying.

GoatsDoRoam Mon 16-Mar-15 21:16:51

I would assume that he bought it for himself but is embarrassed about it, so invented this cock and bull story.

And if he DID buy a sex toy for a friend of his sister's, that is just so completely creepy and unacceptable.

In either scenario, it's weird. So no you're not crazy to be bothered by this.

SocialMediaAddict Mon 16-Mar-15 21:19:48

Sounds like he's lying. Ask what friend he bought it for and ring her together on speakerphone.

CalleighDoodle Mon 16-Mar-15 21:24:48

Theres one very obvious explanation that isnt at all strange. He is having an affair and bought it for his mistress.

pocketsaviour Mon 16-Mar-15 21:26:09

Actually Goats has a point, do you know what kind of toy it was? If it was a dildo or butt plug then he's probably using it himself and too embarrassed to tell you. If it was a rabbit or bullet then he's playing away.

chocolatefingersandtoes Mon 16-Mar-15 21:33:24

Hi OP, highly, highly suspicious. People don't buy friends of the opposite sex sex toys. Not for a joke. They buy them sex toys for when they shag them. I'm amazed you actually believed him!

AnyFucker Mon 16-Mar-15 21:37:20

He bought a sex toy for the other woman he was/is shagging

That is the most likely explanation, and tbh, the only one that makes any sense at all

You've been had, OP. I am sorry.

Unless it was a male sex toy ?

Fairenuff Mon 16-Mar-15 21:39:09

Ask him again and tell him you want the truth this time. Tell him that you will be checking with the woman so if it's not her he'd best come clean.

whateverate Mon 16-Mar-15 21:53:58

It's not a male toy.

I think it's the truth that it was for her, I guess i'm asking if there's anyway it's innocent like he claims

AnyFucker Mon 16-Mar-15 21:55:17

not in my opinion, no

and not in yours either, or you would have parked this a long time ago

PannaDoll Mon 16-Mar-15 21:59:30


Lucked Mon 16-Mar-15 22:03:42

I think you should ask her. Tell her you found the receipt he told you this story and you think it is a bit odd.

AlternativeTentacles Mon 16-Mar-15 22:05:56

but I don't know what other explanations there are that aren't also strange

Well, it's not an ornament is it?

He is either using it himself or shagging the person he bought it for.

WaxOnWaxOff Mon 16-Mar-15 22:06:43

Oh come on, you didn't really buy into that crock of shit did you? he bought a sex toy for a male friend as a joke... oh no wait, it was a female friend, but it was still only a joke... yeah right, okay hmm

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