I have also posted this on teenagers www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/2288906-Abusive-violent-son-What-to-do?
- but wanted some perspective around DV and what I should be doing - WA? Can I stop my son's DV...will he be an abuser all his life?
Oldest son has always been stubborn, moody, aggressive and antagonistic with the family. He is v social and charming out of the home. He frequently punched me, and verbally abuses me during his angry rages and smashes up my house.
My STBXH stood by and watched and I eventually went to the police and his school this time last year (back story here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1599899-Is-being-an-avoider-a-marriage-deal-breaker)
....he got a caution, the school were great and he has not punched me since.
We have now decided to separate after a long 30 year relationship. STBXH has moved out. Ds has taken this really badly (other 3 younger siblings were shocked, angry but have got on with it)....he is now raging with me standing over me growling, red faced, teeth clenched, dribbling saliva and punching me in the head repeatedly but pulling back just before contact (as he knows I will contact the police again). He has smashed up my home -- manhandles me by physically shoving me out of his room. He screams at his 8 year little sister and calls her a cunt because she drinks her water too loudly.
He has decided to rebel and self-sabotage his education (lower 6th) by not doing any work. He is drinking and has started smoking weed at the weekend.
I want to help him not punish him - what do I do.
I have guilt that our marriage was toxic and he heard too much anger and frustration from me - so this is what I deserve - reap what you sow etc.