Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Revenge on the other woman

(127 Posts)
Tryingtostaycalm Mon 19-Jan-15 16:21:01

I know revenge is bad for the soul etc etc. but I really need to have some. My husband cheated on me with a woman from his office for at least six months until I found out. They denied everything (and I caught it in the early stages of sexual contact I think) until I found more and more evidence. The other woman then proceeded to call me and tell me I was to blame, and it was because I was a rubbish wife. This is a woman who had just been cheating on her own husband (she has two kids, as do I).
Whereas I might normally let this go and leave it to karma, the fact that she was so vindictive and bitchy has made me really set on getting some kind of revenge on her. It has to be legal though as her husband is a policeman - and he doesn't know (he is violent and I didn't want him coming to my home looking for a fight). My husband and I are trying to work things out, even though I still haven't forgiven or forgotten what he has done.
Any ideas? Apart from 'let it go'? Because I can't.

Leviticus Mon 19-Jan-15 16:22:26

Let her have your arse of a DH?

Tryingtostaycalm Mon 19-Jan-15 16:23:32

Ha! Yes, have considered it but I need him to help pay the bills right now

UncrushedParsley Mon 19-Jan-15 16:23:49

If you go down this route it will not end well, trust me. Two people were unfaithful, not just her. You are possible misdirecting some of the anger you feel towards your husband at her. I realise she has made it worse by ringing you, and I sympathise. Consider counselling, if only just for yourself, to try and unload some of this feeling.

newyear15 Mon 19-Jan-15 16:24:23

Do nothing to her. Blame your husband for what went on. I agree - let her bloody keep him.

If you do anything to her you will get yourself in huge trouble. Plus you are playing right into her hands aren't you.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 19-Jan-15 16:24:28

She lives with a violent policeman and the best she can do is your husband.... I'd call that Karma personally.

OvertiredandConfused Mon 19-Jan-15 16:25:13

Revenge is a dish best served cold.


Don't do anything now. Let things settle a bit and see how you feel and make some other,more important decisions including the consequences for your cheating husband

If you want revenge, further down the line, there will be opportunities. But you need to be sure. Chances are you'll regret it, impossible as that is to believe right now.

newyear15 Mon 19-Jan-15 16:25:32

you need him to pay the bills? Oh dear....

Blackout234 Mon 19-Jan-15 16:25:39

Grow up.
he chose to stick his dick in her, yes she is to blame too if she knew he was married but she doesn't owe you shit. He is your husband, not her.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 19-Jan-15 16:25:49

Please don't. You will regret it.

Concentrate on yourself and lying husband, not her.

Sorry I know that's not what you want to hear but that's my heartfelt advice

MumsyFoxy Mon 19-Jan-15 16:26:39

How can you forgive your DH for havi g betrayed you , but not forgive a stranger who had no emotional ties or affection with/for you?

Only1scoop Mon 19-Jan-15 16:29:50

Pop a gift bow around you 'd' h....and drop him off on her step and ring the bell?

EBearhug Mon 19-Jan-15 16:29:54

If you can't let it go, think about counselling. Revenge won't help you get back with your husband, and it can eat you up, which means in the end, you lose, not anyone else.

Tryingtostaycalm Mon 19-Jan-15 16:37:21

Agree it's more mature to leave it. But what kind of woman tells another that their husband's affair is their own fault? It wasn't by the way. She is just so disgusting and I find it really unjust that she gets away with it all while I"m left in the shit. My husband is totally to blame for this but she stuck the knife in and made it ten times worse. Meanwhile she's laughing her head off. I realise counselling is one answer. And the bow idea is nice.

Only1scoop Mon 19-Jan-15 16:40:26

What makes you think she's 'laughing her head off' Op.

If you really feel the need then just tell her DH the facts. You have evidence yes?

AnyFucker Mon 19-Jan-15 16:40:43

Her husband is violent ?

How would your conscience cope with him beating the crap out of her if you tell ?

Jan45 Mon 19-Jan-15 16:42:08

Ofgs, leave the woman alone, she's no worse than your OH, in fact instead of wasting your mental thoughts on her, think about how you plan on living with a cheat and how he is going to regain YOUR trust.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 19-Jan-15 16:43:26

OP, she is telling you what your husband told her.sad. Sort it out with him.

MorrisZapp Mon 19-Jan-15 16:44:22

I doubt she is laughing. She lives with a violent man, and she's been dumped by your faithless dh. What does she have to laugh about.

Pippidoeswhatshewants Mon 19-Jan-15 16:44:34

Isn't ignoring her and living a happy life the best revenge? If you get the opportunity just rub her face in how unbelievably happy you are.

supernaut Mon 19-Jan-15 16:45:09

The obvious thing would be for her husband to somehow find out about her affair wink

Only1scoop Mon 19-Jan-15 16:45:17

Dione sadly is probably bang on there....

Get that bow sorted....special delivery

Only1scoop Mon 19-Jan-15 16:45:57

Who told you he's violent? Your husband?

Jan45 Mon 19-Jan-15 16:46:19

Mmmm, he only stopped the affair when you caught him out, nice, her blame on you is what your OH has told her, wake up.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 19-Jan-15 16:48:28

OK OP look at it this way.

The best answer is no answer. Nothing you can think of to do or say with ever drive her as crazy as your silence.

Would I make you feel better to think of it like that

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: