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Sex therapy success stories?

(3 Posts)
WiseAuntieOwl Mon 12-Jan-15 11:57:33

My husband has avoided sex for YEARS. I never really understood why, I tried all sorts of things to get him interested again, I cried, begged and pleaded that we go for counselling and that he get checked out at the docs but to absolutely no avail. So I finally gave up and told him I'd seen a solicitor with a view to divorce. Even then he didn't take any notice. He found out Id been unfaithful (I'm far from proud of this) and the reality of the situation finally dawned on him and now he wants us to go for sex therapy. He's already seeing the counsellor alone. I'm not keen because I only have bad memories of sex with him - it was crap even when we did it, because it was all on his terms to his agenda (it now transpires he had terrible performance anxiety and just wanted to get it over with) and I do t think I'm able to put myself through that. But then I think I should give it another go because he's so desperate and I feel so guilty, and for the sake of our children.
The therapist doesn't do Sensate Focus stuff, it's all about releasing your Chi or something.

Any success stories?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 12-Jan-15 12:12:37

"I think I should give it another go because he's so desperate and I feel so guilty, and for the sake of our children"

I don't see you in that list particularly. Assuaging guilt is really not a good basis for a healthy marriage and children rarely thank parents for staying miserably togehter on their behalf. A relationship where intimacy has been withdrawn for YEARS and was crap even before that point is not going to be fixed by a therapist dishing out chi.

I'd encourage you to go with your first instinct

WiseAuntieOwl Mon 12-Jan-15 13:29:18

Thankyou. I'm very sad about it. He thinks this therapist is the silver bullet as it were, and I think he'll accuse me of not trying if I don't go, despite the years of my begging him to do something. But it doesn't seem fair to go if I'm do half hearted. Despite my past desperation the thought of it now repels me. I want to want it but I cant.sad

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