Trying to keep as brief as possible. My husband had/has an addiction problem which came to light during pregnancy, he quit but startef again behind my back the night I was in hospital following an emcs.
I found out after two months, and left and went to my parents. He promised it would change but it didn't.
He was absolutely rubbish with dd the first3.5 months and after 6 he still has never done a whole night with me. I am ebf (although we are now introducing food) so that was his reasoning for never getting up. dd slept 1 hr per night the first few weeks it was hell. She is a lot better now but I am still totally knackered. 3 months ago we had an argument in the morning, I was holding dd and he launched at me and shook me really hard, dd was screaming in
fright and I was terrified. He let go of me, threw the hoover across the landing and went to his brothers.
Since then a lot has happened, he has started attending narcotics anonymous daily, hasnt touched drugs or alcohol since
and enrolled on a domestic violence and abuse course which he attends weekly for about 8 months.
on the surface he appears to be accepting responsibility and isnt losing hs temper.and I am fully aware I am pushing and pushing to see if he will, I am so angry with him for doing this to us. I also accept I married him knowing his short comings but my whole perspective has changed since having dd, I only want a happy and loving . environment for her. I think. because of . everything that has happened the bond between dd and I is even stronger, she sleeps with me (h is in spare.room) and I am totally devoted.to her being happy the whole time, she is luckily a very contented baby.
Anyhow, in all honesty I would like.my.marriage to work but it all.seems such a mess.and I dont know where to start.
Any advice from anyone with similar.experience would be great.
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how do you/can you forgive (dv/addiction)?
10 replies
Beatrixemerald · 11/01/2015 20:35
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