Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Suddenly keep thinking of what sex with exP was like and I don't know why.

(5 Posts)
kay5512 Sun 11-Jan-15 18:51:45

This is going to sound really messed up but it's something that's bothering me.

My LTR ended back in June and we'd been together about 3 years. It was really difficult and I still think about my ex now, even though he has moved on to a new partner. It didn't take him long to move on at all but I'm the opposite. I haven't been in a relationship since the breakup. I've tried dating but it's never worked out. They're just not like him and we don't click.

This basically means I haven't DTD for about 8 months now. I'm finding it really difficult and I seem to be thinking about sex with my ex quite a lot. I keep thinking back to memories I have of him, how good he was, how I felt when I was with him etc. It's stupid because I have no chance of being with him again but sometimes I wish I could have sex with him one more time. I don't know why I do it - maybe because we just clicked sexually and sex with him was probably the best I'd had.

We went NC from the start so it's not like I want to get back together with him. I just really miss the sex and the closeness from that. I don't know how to get over it either. I have no desire to DTD with anyone else. I've tried dating and that didn't work - just no attraction.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this?

RandomNPC Sun 11-Jan-15 19:33:55

I was like this in the early days of my last split, in a way. It wasn't the sex, it was the closeness. I used to walk round a huge shopping centre, not finding anyone at all slightly attractive to me, because all I had eyes for was them. It passes with time, as do all things. It's not much fun waiting for that time to pass though!

RandomNPC Sun 11-Jan-15 19:35:21

Join something like Plenty Of Fish, it's free and you can just enjoy window shopping if you want! No commitment to buy either.

JoanHickson Sun 11-Jan-15 19:37:57

It's early days for you.

Your thread title reminded me of my sexlife with old partners now, op. blush

elsabelle Mon 12-Jan-15 01:03:52

I still feel like this after a nasty split with exP a few months ago. Well done for staying NC. I think that's the main thing, in time they will eventually fade and your brain will be ready to move on.

I try to think of things that really upset me in my past and see how i feel about them now. They still hurt but dont have the same emotional impact as they once did. That should happen with our feelings too.

I reckon don't force yourself to date if youre not ready. Just keep busy. One day you will meet someone who you feel that attraction to an your ex wont seem so special anymore. Promise.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: