Just need to get something off my chest, as I'm feeling a bit wobbly about it all. DH's family are very close and they have been wonderful to me since we married and had DD. FIL is a successful, opinionated man who I get on with quite well, but has a lot of what I consider to be very old fashioned, bigoted views (racist, sexist, homophobic, etc).
I know I can't change his views, but he has a habit of dropping offensive terms into casual conversation and making jokes that I don't think are on and I've been getting increasingly worried about DD picking up on this and thinking these are normal views and ways to behave.
Anyway, last night at family dinner I called him on it. I wasn't planning on doing it then, but we got into a debate and I just felt like I had to say something. Big row ensued, with him accusing me of saying that I didn't want him to see DD just because we didn't have the same views. That is NOT what I meant, and I do want him to see DD, I just don't want him casually dropping words like 'poofter' and 'wog' into conversation around her!
I'm feeling a bit shaken up about it all as there will definitely be some fall out and I have no idea how it will affect relationships moving forwards, but I think I had to say something, didn't I?
Interestingly, the rest of the family seemed to be supportive of me and I didn't get the feeling that any of them were upset with me for saying something, although SIL in particular got quite upset at the row, so I will apologise to her for making her have to witness it.
I have been very worried about upsetting everyone, and about what happens now, but I don't think I can regret it - I had to say something sometime and if it hadn't been last night it would have been some other time. Not sure I'm asking for advice, just feels better to write it all out!
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Relationships
Called out FIL for offensive comments
UngratefulMoo · 11/01/2015 12:56
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