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Divorce - surviving the first 24hrs?

(5 Posts)
Deckthehallswithdesperation Sat 10-Jan-15 21:18:05

So, I'm planning on dropping the bomb very soon. I know it'll be apocalyptic. I've been here twice before only this time I intend to make it stick. So any ideas what I can to to get through the early hours & days & not crumple & give in. There'll be a toxic atmosphere. I just know he won't move out until it's absolutely necessary, after all, it's his name on the deeds, not mine. It's taken me ages to realise I have to do this & build up courage but I haven't given much thought as to how I stick it out in the earliest moments. I have no family. Can any of you suggest strategies for holding myself together whilst I'm right in the eye of the storm. Dh can be very verbally abusive.

Cabrinha Sat 10-Jan-15 22:10:57

You need to get prepared in the hours before, forget the hours after for now!

Any children? If not, and he's going to be abusive, get your ducks in a row to drop the bomb and GO. Talk to a solicitor first about EVERYTHING.

If you have kids, can you get them somewhere else for a few days.

Maybe tell him on a Monday if you both work, so you're not facing a full weekend under each other's feet when you first tell him?

Good luck!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 10-Jan-15 22:24:41

I'd quite honestly suggest that you contact the police on emergency number 101, ask for the DV unit and warn them that you're in an abusive relationship, you're about to end it and their assistance may be required. That way, if/when he reacts badly, you can call in the cavalry and watch his sorry backside be removed.....

Lovingfreedom Sat 10-Jan-15 22:32:46

If your married you don't need your name on the deeds...see a solicitor ASAP and agree nothing until you've had advice... best of luck.

AcrossthePond55 Sat 10-Jan-15 22:57:40

Is there any way you can move out (even temporarily) at the same time you tell him? If not, is there a way in your current home that you can separate yourself (separate bedroom with TV) so that you don't have to be around him?

If you haven't seen a solicitor yet, do. There are things that can be done to make him leave, but I think there has to have been some type of record of abuse. Call WA also and ask them.

Other than that, all you can do is refuse to engage, refuse to rise to any verbal bait. And spend as much time elsewhere as possible, even if it means sitting in a park or mall.

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