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Newly divorced men - bad idea?

(10 Posts)
fourlegstwolegs Thu 08-Jan-15 10:49:17

I have recently had dinner dates with two different men, both of whom are newly divorced, both quite acrimonious.
My divorce was several years ago and not acrimonious so I don't have any baggage.
My question is whether its a bad idea? Or are some men happy to give it a go with someone else straight away, rather than just wanting no strings sex?

pompodd Thu 08-Jan-15 10:53:09

Imagine the question were reversed: newly divorced women - bad idea?

I think the answer must be: it depends on the man. There's no absolute answer to whether it's a good or bad idea. Similarly, I've no doubt that some men are happy to give it a go with someone else straight away rather than just wanting sex. But that sort of generalisation isn't very helpful to you. Surely you have to judge it on an individual by individual basis?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 08-Jan-15 10:54:20

The question is..... how do you know it was acrimonious? smile If both men spent the duration of the date bitching about their exes or whining about having been swindled out of the lawnmower or some such then run like the wind. Dating should be fun and thinking their acrimonious divorce passes as interesting dinner conversation would be very bad manners

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 08-Jan-15 11:07:10

"are some men happy to give it a go with someone else straight away, "

Fascinating factoid time..... Statistically speaking, men who find themselves single through either bereavement or divorce will find a new partner much more quickly than a woman in the same situation. Women, it would appear, are less eager to go back into partnerships than men .... maybe because they don't get quite so much out of the arrangement? smile

madwomanacrosstheroad Thu 08-Jan-15 11:10:25

What exactly do you mean by acrimonious? Could there be issues around control or domestic abuse?

fourlegstwolegs Thu 08-Jan-15 12:54:47

No, acrimonious now because in both cases there are lots of rows about money!

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 08-Jan-15 13:31:52

But how do you know this? Did you know these men when they were married? Have they divulged the rows about money in the run up to the date? On the date itself?

fourlegstwolegs Thu 08-Jan-15 13:41:33

The latter but they both just touched on it, only when I asked how relations were with their exes. But I remember rowing with my exh about money too so I don't think it's that unusual. One of the men will be getting a payout from his ex (she is wealthy) and the other is having to do the paying out. Funnily enough the former is the one who said he'd never get married again!

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 08-Jan-15 13:47:22

Context is everything. Touching on the reason for divorce in response to a direct question about relations with exes is reasonable and acceptable. Stretching that to great long, self-pitying, self-indulgent whining how 'she took me for every penny.... woe is me.... I'm never getting married again... .' - is just a crap date

Hughfearnley Sat 10-Jan-15 19:19:58

My exH was remarried within 12 months of our separation and within 1 month of our divorce being finalised.
He remains married (hopefully happily). There were no children involved thank goodness. It was an amicable divorce but my instigation.
It took me 7 years to get to the stage where I felt committed enough to get remarried. Some men (and indeed some people ) don't do well on their own.

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