I have a son who is 25 years old. From the age of about 14 he started smoking cannabis, progressed to using recreational drugs and then from the age of 18 started to use heroin. He has been into rehab 3 times and struggles with addiction. When he is clean and sobre he keeps himself fit and holds down a job which is well paid for a short time. He has times that are good and times that are bad. He tries to work the 12 step programme but never succeeds. At age 15 he became involved with a girl one year older than him who had been in care. She was housed in a lovely flat at aged 16 and they moved in together. I could not get him to come home as I knew they were both using drugs. The girl was domestically violent to him and he sustained some awful injuries. The flat would be regularly smashed up if he spoke to other girls. The girl got pregnant and baby was taken into care due to drug abuse of both of them and the violence and self
harm of the girl. We as young Grandparents with a 3 year old of our own became permanent guardians of our grandson who is now 7. My son has not spent a lot of time with his son and seems incapable due to his battle with addiction. Two years ago at xmas we were text from my son that he had had another baby who was a girl. My son had not long been out of rehab. We discovered that the he was using heroin again and so was this new girl. We were really worried about the baby as the girl was using heavily. I reported this to social services who told me they had no concerns as baby was dressed well. My claims were deemed unfounded. In April after the xmas this girl died from a heroin overdose. Her Mother was also a heroin addict. Her brother took the baby on as part of his family. Social services assured me that baby was being looked after well. The family did not want us to have any contact. My son is not named on the birth certificate so has no rights. There has been no DNA test. We are happy that baby is safe and cared for now. Now bringing things up to date. I have been inboxed this week on facebook by another girl that she has had a baby and she believes it to be my sons. She has told me that he is just less than a month old and that he was two weeks late. He was born on the 5th December 2014. She tells me she was not in a relationship with my son. He took her out on February 14th 2014 and they slept together. She only slept with him once and was pregnant. My son lives in a hostel down south. He left to go there in the middle of March 2014 as he had become addicted to Heroin again and felt that he could not stay where he lived because of his heroin addiction contacts. She is adamant baby is my sons and is demanding a D.N.A. test. She has also inboxed my son and she says he has not responded and is not interested. So then she felt she had no alternative to contact us his family. Now us as a family are fed up of picking up the pieces of the mess my son is making with girls and children. We are all upset by this again and don't want any contact as this girl is a stranger to us. We were never told during the pregnancy and again no D.N.A. test has been done. We feel these two adults have been totally irresponsible. Are we so awful not to want any more heartbreak. I don't even know what I am asking here but any thoughts would be appreciated. The girl has sent inboxes to me and my family with content of blame towards us and guilt trips. Is it so awful of me to want to go no contact.
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18 replies
HEARTandsoul15 · 08/01/2015 10:02
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