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How do some people manage to get on with everyone and be liked by everyone?

(12 Posts)
ExtremeCouponing Wed 07-Jan-15 23:26:27

Whilst I'm seemingly unable to do this.

I have a wide circle of friends, it's not that I'm friend-less, it's just that I seem to have gathered a handful of people over my adult life that just don't like me, and seem to actually openly hate me.

It's all over things too that are ridiculous, such as a friend having a complete and utter hissy fit because I wouldn't be at her beck and call and said no to her. And another friend that listened to her crap about me and now refuses to speak to me too.

Every now and again I seem to come across someone who just dislikes me from the second they meet me.

And the people that are determined to fall out with me and that dislike me are always types that make a huge thing of it, and cause a huge rift and fallout.

How can I avoid this kind of crap in the future? What is the secret to just not having any hassle?

knightofswords Wed 07-Jan-15 23:28:44

You can't be all things to all people. If you ask these friends why they are acting like that, what do they say?

pdxs Wed 07-Jan-15 23:30:54

Maybe back off from some of these friends/let them put the work in if there is trouble ... then you will see if they value you?

And maybe you just don't like these people. .. not everyone is a friend, and friendship takes time...

500Decibels Wed 07-Jan-15 23:33:27

I think you've been unlucky!
They sound like terrible people. The issue is with them, not you.

IamTitanium Wed 07-Jan-15 23:34:58

God I don't, so I am not really your target audience.
I don't think its realists to like everyone or be liked by everyone.
I am probably a heartless bitch but I just have no time for drama and bullshit and if a "friend" fits those criteria (and I am not talking one off-unless its a big one off) I just fuck them off completely or "move them down a division" grin.
There are different levels of friends in my life from an acquaintance to the top few, as it stands I only have a few at the top but these are people I absolutely trust.

mynameismskane Thu 08-Jan-15 00:07:03

I hear you. There are so many people like this. Since my kids started school, I feel I'm back at school and it's the idiots and bullies (I'm talking about the mums here!) who are out in full force. I hate it. There are some nice people, but so many of them are just nasty, cliquey little women.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 08-Jan-15 07:01:46

I think, if your aim is to get on with everyone and be liked by everyone, you are possibly being too passive and biddable. You may be attracting people who see you as a soft touch. So when you behave assertively they don't like it.... or you.

If you want friends who like and respect you, be assertive from the off. It quickly winkles out the users

flashyballs Thu 08-Jan-15 07:25:31

I used to feel like this, but as I've got older I just really couldn't care any more, I know I'm a nice a person and I did get used as I'd be the 1st to do a favour, but I then realised I was being taken the piss out of, even by family so I've now stopped, and it's like a weight has lifted, it's a great feeling smile

WildBillfemale Thu 08-Jan-15 07:33:17

Maybe you are keen to get on with everyone so attracting the 'takers' who then don't like it when they have to 'give' to the friendship. It's taken me a long time to realise that being friendly with someone doesn't make them a friend. Choose your friends wisely............

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 08-Jan-15 07:40:42

a friend having a complete and utter hissy fit because I wouldn't be at her beck and call and said no to her

I am not worried in the slightest if people don't like me, but I'd never let a friendship get to this stage in the first place. I'd have sacked her off ages ago or been mysteriously busy in the lead up to her expecting me to be at her beck and call.

I find the more I am happy just being me, and not worrying about what others thing, the more people just accept me being me.

dangerrabbit Thu 08-Jan-15 08:06:33

Why do you want everyone to like you?

Do you like every person you meet?

If not, how can you expect every person you meet to like you? It's not realistic.

CaptainVasiliBorodin Thu 08-Jan-15 08:08:06

I think you need to stop trying to please or be friends with everyone and start surrounding yourself with like minded people whose company you actually enjoy. Good friendships should enhance your life not make it more difficult. Two or three close dependable friends are worth two dozen fair weather mates.

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