I am 26, 27 in Summer of this year. My partner is nearly 28.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. We have lived together in this time, but currently live apart due to work commitments. I am doing a graduate scheme which will end in 2016. When this finishes, I will be able to move back to where my DP lives.
I see my DP on Friday to Sunday. He visits me each week because my working day is longer so it makes sense for him to travel on a Friday to maximise our tome together.
Neither of us own property, as we are saving for our own home for when I finish this graduate scheme, and can realistically move back to where we want to be in the longer-term. Since we moved apart, I have felt me and my partner have regressed. The nature of my partner's job means he is able to work abroad quite frequently. He enjoys this and often I will not see him for 3/4 weeks at a time. I have found this even harder now we don't even share the same home.
While I enjoy my job and worked very hard to get into the line of work I am in, I feel my ambition has subsided somewhat as I have got older. My partner on the other hand loves his job and therefore seeks out opportunity to travel with work etc etc. The majority of my friends have bought houses, had babies and are very settled. I resent living in a rented flat with none of my own furniture and no real security. I hate it more and more each day, and despite my friends and family being very supportive and telling me 'I've done so well to have achieved what I have,'...I feel sad and lonely. The career does not make up for the way I have to live my life right now, with massess of uncertainity and no real home (which is very important to me).
I feel as if I am a failure, and way, way behind my peers who are living the adult life I can only dream of right now.
The reason I have come on here today is because recently I have been pressuring my partner a bit to think about the future.
- I ask about starting a family, send him potential homes to buy, spend ages looking at sofas etc..My partner is happy to talk about all this and tells me he wants these things, too, be he is massiely more chilled out about it than me.
- I also want to move back in and have us both commute to work...he says this is silly because we would both be commuting over an hour and not get in until gone 7pm each night. Again, this makes me resent him because I so want to have that life again where we lived together and felt like we were progressing as a 'real' couple.
My partner says we should enjoy this age and not worry about homes, families, marriage etc. He says now is the time for him to travel, while we are not 'settled.' He says moving back in would be silly when in 2016 we will buy our home anyway.
I am resenting my job for essentially causing this regression, and I also feel frustrated and worried that my DP is ok with it all and even seems to enjoy the situation. I feel jealous of friends who can go home to their DP or husbands and babies and enjoy their settled life. I feel like everythig is so temporary, and after having moved around so much with uni, I wanted to be thinking about what colour to decorate my child's bedroom and where to put my sofa. I feel so ready for all that, that I am worried my DP just isnt't...and when we lived together it felt like everything was a lot more certain.
Am I being unfair/irrational/something else not so good here?
Sorry this is so long!!