Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How to get the spark back....

(4 Posts)
fabfiftyfox Wed 07-Jan-15 08:24:06

Dh and I have been together nearly 18 years, 2 children, mortgage, etc etc.
I love him dearly, BUT the intimacy has reeeaaallly dwindled over the years. When I watch movies, read romantic/sexy books I can always remember having those feelings for dh. I want that back. The spark we had is now a tiny little tee.tree light.
Is it just inevitable that the passion dies, or can you revive it?????
(One of my resolutions this year is to have more sex with said husband..)

thisisnow Wed 07-Jan-15 11:47:29

I think it's inevitable, some may disagree with me though. How about a weekend away to a nice spa just the two of you? We do this every so often and it's really nice to get away from the grind of everyday life.

Missqwerty Wed 07-Jan-15 12:29:40

The spark can return. But it takes both of you to work at it. You could have lots of sex and feel zero spark, you first need to do the groundwork really.

Rekindle what it was about each other you first fell in love with, the more you feel gratitude for each other the easier it is. Start having fun together again, doing silly things etc. Dress up each day like your really trying to impress him, like you probably did in the begining . The dressing up and pampering yourself I'd as much for you, if you feel sexy and confident you will feel happier and that happiness will shine through to your relationship too

HootyMcTooty Wed 07-Jan-15 13:00:47

I think more often than not it is inevitable that the spark dwindles, if you don't both make a concerted effort to keep the spark. If you have an otherwise good relationship, then acknowledge the problem with each other and make a plan to get the intimacy back and it will happen. Spend time together not talking about the children/chores etc. hold hands, kiss, cuddle. Promising yourself that you'll have more sex is a good start, as long as you're not forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: