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Friend might be being cheated on - help!

(11 Posts)
themonkeyonmyback Tue 06-Jan-15 18:54:08

I found out through a mutual friend that a good friend of mine might have been cheated on. They made it sound like it was multiple times casually. The mutual friend that I heard from can be quite scatty and get information wrong and I have no idea for myself if it's true or not.

Do I tell my friend what I've heard or do I keep it to myself/ignore it? If I knew for sure I'd definitely tell her but I don't know for sure. I don't want to cause a load of trouble for something that might just turn out to be gossip. What would you do?

CleanLinesSharpEdges Tue 06-Jan-15 18:57:27

You have no idea if it's true or not and the friend you heard it from is unreliable.

In this case I'd say keep your beak out - this has the potential to end up being one of those situations where the messenger, (you), gets well and truly shot.

Joysmum Tue 06-Jan-15 19:02:02

Anyway of checking up to confirm or deny.

Personally, I'd rather lose a friendship and risk the fallout than to stay quiet and deny a friend a right to choose for herself.

I'd not do so based on very dodgy info though.

themonkeyonmyback Tue 06-Jan-15 19:32:28

No, there's no way of confirming or denying. My friend did seem quite sure but they didn't see it for themselves either.

I don't know whether to keep quiet because it is just from people gossiping but then if it turned out to be true I'd feel awful and my friend would be furious that I knew before they did and didn't tell them.

CleanLinesSharpEdges Tue 06-Jan-15 19:36:37

Nah, that's far too vague...

"I heard from a friend, who heard it from someone else, that your partner's cheating on you".

Bogeyface Tue 06-Jan-15 19:41:31

Its difficult because you dont know its true, but even if it isnt, this friend is being gossiped about.

Perhaps you could say that you know that people are gossiping about her, what its about and let her do the digging for herself? Say that you are only telling her because you dont like the thought of her being talked about behind her back, but you have no idea whether the gossip is true or not. If you focus on being concerned about being talked about rather than the cheating itself you might, might stay out of the firing line.

BuzzardBird Tue 06-Jan-15 19:58:12

Based on that information I would definitely keep my gob shut.

Hurr1cane Tue 06-Jan-15 20:12:28

I'd keep my gob shut.

There are two people in my friendship group that people in the wider group are absolutely convinced are having an affair.

They aren't.

They're just very close friends who are paranoid that people will think are having an affair so they do stupid things like coming into a building 1 minute apart so people won't know they've come together confused I've told them it just makes them look dodgy as fuck and makes the gossips talk more but they don't listen.

They aren't having an affair though, if they were Id have told his wife who is a close friend. It's just gossip and lies.

One person actually spread it round that they were caught shagging somewhere. I was there, they weren't shagging unless I was involved in the threesome, we can't even Pin down who originally said it because everyone seems to have heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend grin

BuzzardBird Tue 06-Jan-15 20:44:34

Thanks, can't get that song out of my head now...

themonkeyonmyback Tue 06-Jan-15 21:03:38

I am tempted to leave it but have a nagging feeling now. Before, I would never have guessed their partner was cheating on them.

I have spoken to my friend again but they're saying the original source is denying ever saying anything but whether that's because they are protecting the accused or someone has got the wrong end of the stick somewhere I don't know...

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 06-Jan-15 21:15:56

Stay out of it. Gossip is often vicious and unreliable. If you pass it on as fact you'd not only be a fool you'd deserve all the crap that came your way

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