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Weird Fantasy?

(31 Posts)
wonderingwhattodo1 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:10:18

I have NC for this as I think this is a bit weird.

Basically I fantasise a lot about my DP having sex with another woman. I've not told him about this as I really don't know how he would react, but I have been considering telling him in the hope of him being up for the idea.

We haven't had sex for months now. I'm pregnant and it is uncomfortable when I have sex. But he is going mad with sexual frustration that I almost feel sorry for him. The thing is my sex drive is through the roof but I have been pleasuring myself instead of having sex as it feels better doing that at the moment.

This may all be a silly fantasy, and something that I might regret if it came true. But I'll never know until I say something will I? Just to make this even more weird, my DP thinks one of my friends is "absolutely stunning" (she is very good looking), and all I can think about when I get these fantasies is them both having sex. Tbh i dont think he would need much persuading!

What shall I do? I think the pregnancy hormones have sent me loopy.

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:19:38

You haven't had sex for months but he is frustrated and your sex drive is through the roof? If sex is uncomfortable how about you try a different position, or try something different from PIV sex like oral or manual stimulation? Surely there is something you could try rather than imagining your DP with your friend...

Handywoman Mon 05-Jan-15 22:21:47

Just thinking your pregnancy hormones could leave you very vulnerable indeed, should it actually happen.

lemisscared Mon 05-Jan-15 22:22:26

marking place for the deletion message

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:23:44

is this a wind up?

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 05-Jan-15 22:23:55

Don't address this now. You're pregnant, and when the baby comes you will be vulnerable.

Don't open a can of worms. Wait til your DC is, oooooh, sixteen or so.

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 05-Jan-15 22:24:30

Sorry to sound jokey at the end there - I really don't think you should address this now.

LineRunner Mon 05-Jan-15 22:26:49

PIV is not the only fruit.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 05-Jan-15 22:26:49

Top if most pregnant womens list this is, honestly are you for real shock

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:28:14

grin LineRunner

wonderingwhattodo1 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:28:53

No it's definitely not a wind up I promise you that.

It's just not normal to feel like this is it?

Morrigu Mon 05-Jan-15 22:31:57

There is actually a term for it, cuckqueaning.

Best to keep as a fantasy for the time being at least, if this is for real.

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:32:24

Yes completely normal
why don't you ask if you can watch

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 05-Jan-15 22:32:34

It's your 'ormones

I can guarantee you won't want to husband nobbing your bezzy once your baby arrives

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:33:41

whilst in labour perhaps?

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 05-Jan-15 22:37:51

Dildo up the backside as well for good measure

Your DH's that is

SelfLoathing Mon 05-Jan-15 22:39:31

It's perfectly normal to have fantasies like this - ones that may feel a bit wild or out there.

It is entirely different moving that into real life.

For example, rape or domination is a common female fantasy but really for most women that is a fantasy in the very controlled world of fantasy land. Usually with a man they know - or are in love with - who might be up for game playing but not a serious non-consensual assault. It doesn't mean that's it's a good idea to go out and try to get raped if that's your fantasy. (Not trying to be offensive here - just making a point).

The same is true of your fantasy of your husband with another woman. It is a fantasy in the controlled world of fantasy land. It doesn't allow for the woman to actually have feelings, be more attractive to your husband than you, be better in bed to your husband's eyes than you, your husband falling for her, you being jealous as it spirals out of control etc etc. Do it and open a can of worms beyond your control.

Enjoy your fantasy. Talk to your husband about it. Enjoy it as fantasy sex talk during the moment.

But leave it as a fantasy.

Charlie97 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:41:14


overslept Mon 05-Jan-15 22:43:06

Right, I once spoke to DP about the same fantasy. Got a wide eye stare, a ruffled "no way" and then an awkward conversation about why not. Ironic the conversation about why not was more of a "turn on" than the fantasy. It put some closeness there that I had overlooked, not been appreciating and generally hadn't considered. Also made me realise one of the many reasons I love him. Strange as I'm also fiercely jealous, I think things would have ended pretty soon after had it come to anything. Leave it as a fantasy, the reality will probably be shit compared anyway.

Branleuse Mon 05-Jan-15 22:43:40

Its not that abnormal, otherwise you wouldn't have swingers clubs etc.

I dont think you should involve your friend though. Could get messy and not fair on her

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 05-Jan-15 22:43:46

Time to invest in the rubber dolly

Branleuse Mon 05-Jan-15 22:44:27

i rather like the thought at times too

Sallyingforth Mon 05-Jan-15 22:46:42

shona had the answer right at the start.

If you are both in need there are certainly ways you could be be satisfied. Better to deal with it now, than after the birth when you are up all night looking after the baby and may really be too tired to take part.

Shonasnowqueen Mon 05-Jan-15 22:47:50

threesome with the dolly?

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 05-Jan-15 22:49:36

And the dildo, what the hell

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