Would it be reasonable of me to change my birthday like the queen or a bit bonkers?

[SpidersDontWashTheirHands]

I've been NC with my mother since October. I don't want to celebrate the day she brought me in to the world because I want to think about her so I'm thinking about moving my birthday by a few weeks. Is that ridiculous? Obviously I could have no birthday at all but I'd miss out on cards and cake

[Trills]

I think you can chose to say "I am celebrating my birthday on the 8th of June" or whatever.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

If you're going to go to the trouble if shifting your birthday (and I have a December birthday so this is close to my heart) why not go for a nice summery date when the weather might be cheerful? I've always fancied late June....

Won't stop you thinking on your real birthday, of course So possibly not the outcome you're after. Do people really associate their birthdays with their mothers' effort?

[inlectorecumbit]

My DH and I both have December birthdays and since married chose to celebrate joint 1/2 birthdays in June. great excuse for a party. (plus it spreads the pressies out a bit ).

[SaucyMare]

Hubbys is dec i wanted him to shift, he wont.

But your reason seems a bit silly to a casual listener, am nc with my dad but he is that unimportant, not worth the effort for HIM.

[SpidersDontWashTheirHands]

Won't stop you thinking on your real birthday, of course So possibly not the outcome you're after

Good point. I guess the idea of moving it is to celebrate when and how I choose. Also my birthday is in January, which is rubbish


Do people really associate their birthdays with their mothers' effort?

I associate mine with many years of feeling not particularly special. I'd like to break that connection.

[ocelot7]

My birthday is Xmas Eve & when I was at school I had a half birthday arrangement with someone who's b'day is 24 June...the idea f a summer party is good so you could count 6 months from yr b'day to sometime in July... :)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Best way to get rid of old associations is to create new ones. Personally I'd keep the date.... it's yours after all .... but make a conscious effort to do something outrageous. I heard recently that the secret to happiness is not 'things' but 'experiences'. Experiences are good at the time but get better the more you look back on them, So wipe out bad old memories with incredible new experiences.

[pumpkinsweetie]

Yanbu, change it to the same date of the next month

[Junglen]

I know somebody that has been celebrating her birthday (25th December) on the 25th of June for about 20 years. She likes having two days to celebrate, and a summer birthday, and now there doesn't seem much deceit in pretending to be six months younger!

[CaramelPie]

Bit bonkers.

[however]

But bonkers.

I don't celebrate mine at all. If I fancy a get together with friends, I arrange one, several times a year!

[however]

But = bit

[Philoslothy]

What does NC mean?

[MushroomSoup]

NC = non-contact

[DrLego]

I wouldn't let NC situation alter my life to that extent. No way. January birthdays are fantastic, but you could always have a half birthday as a party!

[HelloItsStillMeFell]

It's a bit bonkers to be honest.

Your birthday is about you not your mother. I can't say I ever give my mother a second though on my birthday. I certainly don't make it all about putting her on a pedestal for bringing me into the world.

Do you usually have extreme emotional responses to things like this? It seems a bit attention seeking. How would you announce it to all the people who are likely to send you cards are want to see you for your birthday?

The only time I would understand this is if a birthday fell right over the three days of Christmas.

[Philoslothy]

Do you get a lot of cards/ gifts from people you don't see on a regular basis. If you don't it is easier I guess to move your birthday

You can of course celebrate your
Birthday when you like, although will you not think of your mother then if your birthday prompts feelings of her.

[Walkacrossthesand]

I suppose the worry is that you will exchange 'it's my birthday and mum always managed to make my birthdays crap' for 'I'm celebrating my birthday today, it's not even my birthday but my mum made my birthdays so crap...' and not achieve the objective of removing your mum from the frame. Have a 'summer party' if you want one - lots of winter babies do!- but don't make it about your mum - that just prolongs her influence.

[LividofLondon]

Completely agree with Walk.

[edgarsuit]

Go for it... I'm sure your close ones will understand the reasoning.. My dp birthday is Xmas day and I changed it to June because it was inconvenient and he didn't really get a birthday.. Now every year we have a party in June... It's a massive surprise??

[thisisnow]

I want to change mine as it's November but now realised you December babes have it even worse!

[EBearhug]

My mother also had a late December birthday and sometimes held a party in the summer instead. There's nothing to stop you celebrating it whenever you like - it's not like you're obliged to have a party on the same day or not at all.

I suspect official form-filling would get difficult if you wanted to try and move the date, though - your DoB will remain as it is, regardless of when you choose to mark the passing of another year.

[MaryWestmacott]

Bonkers, your birthday is about you, your mum might have made it all about her, but it's not. Reclaim it, otherwise you are agreeing with her that that date is all about her.

[Mynewnamenotyours]

It's a bit bonkers, sorry. I understand why you are comfortable but you can't just pick a date to suit you and pretend it's your birthday, it won't be your birthday.

[rumbleinthrjungle]

nothing wrong with having an 'official' birthday. A friend does this who lost a close family member on her real birthday and could never celebrate that day again, it worked fine for friends and family and she had a much better time. Pick a date you like and enjoy it.