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Having separate bedrooms.

(3 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Sun 04-Jan-15 10:24:48

Me and DH have been together for five years and always shared a bed, no problem.

DS came along last year and for the first 7m of his life me and DH still shared a bed whilst DS was still in our room with us.

DS suddenly became a nightmare sleeper and due to him still being in our room we decided that DH should have the spare room to enable all 3 of us to get as much sleep as possible (DH was always waking us up when he got up for work).

Fast forward two months and it brings us to now. Two weeks ago DS was moved into his nursery as his sleep improved dramatically and DH moved back into the marital bedroom.

I thought I would like it, and in some ways I do, but at the same time I'm really missing my own space.

Ironically I'm getting less sleep sharing with him than I was when sharing with DS. I'm suddenly hyper aware of DH's snoring (light and heavy) his fidgeting and just his general presence in the bed taking up too much space.

I used to love being able to turn the lights out and settle down once DS was asleep and lie in a totally silent room to drift off to sleep but now I lie awake for ages listening to my DH sleeping with all his annoying noises and movements.

The last two nights in particular I've been exhausted and I had to ask him to go back to the spare room again. It felt amazing having the bed to myself again and I have had some much needed sleep.

I feel a bit guilty though and I know I need to find some way to just deal with DH's nighttime presence because I don't want us sleeping apart for the rest of our marriage in case we start to drift apart.

Do any other couples have separate bedrooms without it having any negative effect on their relationship?

CrazySexyCool123 Sun 04-Jan-15 10:35:57

Yes! People think it's strange but I don't care. It works for us smile

Hassled Sun 04-Jan-15 10:40:17

DH and I have for some years now - as soon as DD moved out and freed up a bedroom. At that stage I was delirious with lack of sleep - DH snores constantly, and loudly. He's had assorted ENT/sleep clinic visits, lost weight, stopped drinking - he still snores. It's fine - works for both of us.

The downside is holidays/hotels when we're in the same bed - I'm so used to that lovely silence now that I twitch at every snuffle.

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