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In the end

(8 Posts)
chemistc Sun 04-Jan-15 00:13:51

Are not all relationships a battle between the selfish and the selfless?

trackrBird Sun 04-Jan-15 00:19:03

No. Not at all, chemistc.
Healthy relationships aren't any sort of battle. Just affectionate give and take between equals.

The selfish are best avoided.

Hope you are ok?

chemistc Sun 04-Jan-15 00:22:40

Just reflecting again as I spend another evening being ignored as he plays on his DS3 and DS4 leaving me bored on my own, yet if I ever want to do anything I am not allowed.

Cabrinha Sun 04-Jan-15 00:26:08

Why do you allow yourself to not be allowed?
You don't have to accept this.
There's no merit on being "selfless" if by that you mean cowed, bullied, walked over.
Sorry you're not happy flowers
Act!

chemistc Sun 04-Jan-15 00:33:57

If only it was that simple

trackrBird Sun 04-Jan-15 00:36:06

You were planning to leave this relationship, I think. You can still do this.
Life can change for you.

Cabrinha Sun 04-Jan-15 01:06:48

The action to end it might not be simple.
But the situation is: simply, he's not good for you if he ignores you and doesn't allow things.
Theorising that every relationship has a selfish and selfless half will oh make you think that it's normal, and you may as well stay put.

Do you want to talk about why it's not simple to end it?

Joysmum Sun 04-Jan-15 08:49:37

I married my dh because I thought I could make him happy. He felt the same.

Successful relationship are based on a foundation of both in the couple wanting to please the other, not a foundation of making themselves happy.

If one of both moves away from that mission, the relationship suffers.

There's certainly no battles involved in a healthy relationship.

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