I have met a man fell in love been together for about a year he has 2 kids and so do I ... He has them every other w/e and every single Sunday night and Monday night takes them to school mon and tues as his ex decided to take a job miles away ... She didn't want kids to meet me but we still met and after a few weeks his kids decided they wanted their dad to themselves and so he told me he would spend the time with his kids alone , no regard for how I felt or my kids !, he just answers to his ex all the time she wanted rid of him as she wanted a family friend yet he has to go school evenings etc with her so it all looks good seems she wants her new life but also him on a string , he now says he wants me and my kids to spend time with his kids well I have said no!!! Wasn't good enough 5 months ago ... He saying he regrets making that decision ?? And things change but why should they change because it suits him.. I love him wanted to be with him but it's like he spend so much time with me then he goes home for few days then he comes back again why should I just sit there and wait!! With his ex there is always gonna be summit I mean these kids are 12 and 14 and she isn't gonna let him have a life until they grow up even then she is still gonna want it all to look good. He says he wants to live with me! I cannot see how that is going to ever work with the way she is and the kids want their dad alone besides which our kids would have to share rooms and my kids have been through enough and his kids have their own rooms at home.. I feel like my life is on hold I hurt all the time just not sure what's for the best anymore ..
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So his kids wanted the reassurance of time with just their dad and he did the right thing by giving that reassurance. Now they are ready for more with you and your kids and you've said no on principle because the poor mites weren't ready 5 months ago 
Your kids weren't friends with his kids. They met each other for a few weeks 
You just had to explain that his kids wanted their dad to themselves for now. It was pretty soon to be introducing everyone. I'm actually not against early introductions per se as some are, but you have to do it knowing there are pitfalls.
I'm sorry you're hurting. You really need to be realistic here. He's being ridiculous talking a out living together so soon with a step family set up. You barely know each other yet, don't drag the kids through that!
FWIW after 18 months with my boyfriend, we both feel that we don't anticipate joining households at all, because we are happy with our 1:1 set up with each of our only child. That wouldn't suit some, but we work - because we're on the same page. If you and this guy aren't, it's a non starter.
Either bin him, or let this develop without any of your kids involved, until you know each other properly.
Tbh, my XH's girlfriend might think I boss him about.
But you know what? My ex is fucking useless!
I send him texts like "it is important that she practises her spellings this week, she particularly struggles with "x word", if you get this app she seems to be more enthusiastic to learn".
Oh - I texted him when she got too old for the kids toothpaste and told him I'd worked over last 4 days to get her onto next age up. (she had hated mint!) and that he should therefore join in with that.
What else... Oh, suggesting she doesn't have snack money every day at school because she buys pizza, doesn't eat healthier dinner, and then goes potentially 10:00-18:00 without food.
If his gf wanted to bitch about me, it'd be easy. But he's totally useless.
I know some on here would tell me to step back, but where it's health and education, I do it.
It's not that often 
but as I say - I can well imagine his girlfriend bitching about me, because she has no idea he is a useless cock who is already cheating on her.
Yes of course you should both decide, so don't be available when he is 
negotiate. You don't have to sit around waiting.
If he is always going to jump to the Exs tune, and this isn't what you want, cut him loose. At the moment it seems this weak guy has two headstrong women tearing him in half! and all he probably wants is a good relationship with his children.
As for mix and match families, there will always be some issues and lots of negotiating. If you can't or won't make some sacrifices yourself then it won't work. You can either support him and encourage him, take the time to work it out or make demands that go unmet. You seem a bit unrealistic to be honest and I pitty this man trying to please everyone.
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I don't see why that means he can't take them away on holiday? Surely he does whilst he has them during school holidays?
And she has them some of the holidays if she takes them away on holiday I'm confused!
All this "new man" stuff about her boyfriend... Yeah, she cheated. But you know - move on, get over it - they're together now. Surely your boyfriend has moved on - or he wouldn't be talking about living together?!
Either he had moved on - in which case you need to drop the family friend / new man digs (it's been a year at least!).
Or he hasn't moved on, in which case you need to drop him!
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