initially it was me, dp and his mate who would go out together so after a while I thought id introduce dps mate to my friend.
my friend wasn't long out of a relationship but as I already knew dps mate and thought he was a good guy, I thought a bit of fun was just what my friend needed.
anyway 3 months in and I kid you not, I could not have been more wrong about this guy.
they both like a drink, and seem to kick off at every opportunity, I get phone calls in the middle of the night from my friend, she is hysterical and asking to be collected. ..he is in the background being abusive towards her. A few times I have turned up at his house to collect my friend and before I even got to the house I could hear him screaming abuse at her. she is no angel either but my initial thoughts were to get her away from the abuse in order for her to think clearly...each time I've seen/heard awful things between them. he is very overpowering (a big lad) and she has had to literally fight her way past to get out the house.
I don't actually get involved anymore because they always end up back together after his grovelling and crying. its only been 3 months. they are both in their 30's but they just seem to love being volatile and creating drama.
lately my friend has become a little withdrawn. asking his permission just to nip to the shops or to my house for a brew.
today when she came to mine for a cuppa (and to use the loo ) she was here for say an hour and a half and on her return to him he went off on one. so they have spent all afternoon arguing. obviously I am not there and cannot know what is being said. but from what I have seen and heard and also been told he is just no good for her. ..it seems he wants her as a possession and to control her life.
yes I am over involved, or whatever the current buzzword is but my friend talks to me, we both talk to each other and I have noticed a massive difference in her demeanor which worries me.
how do I support her in what she wants to do when I can see from an outside point of view that this is bad for her. I don't know what to do for the best.
he is a horrible person to her. im also a bit annoyed that I didn't spot how much of an arse he was in the first place albeit he has always been lovely with me...
she tells me she knows how awful he is and dreads being with him, yet they spend most nights together. weekends are the worst when they have a drink she knows she needs to remove herself from his company but doesn't. does that mean she loves the drama too?
this has been on my mind a lot over the festive period because the manipulation and abuse has really stepped up a level
how can I just leave it? should I just be an ear/shoulder for her and see how it all pans out? it is exhausting!
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how to support my friend in her relationship
16 replies
NamesNick · 03/01/2015 17:17
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