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It ended 3 weeks ago now..

(11 Posts)
Applecrumbling Sat 03-Jan-15 16:29:20

Emotions a bit all over the place. Relationship ended badly. I need advice to move forward, been here before. Feel alone and lonely. Also nostalgic, teary. I don't see me getting over it. I'm scared he'll jump and meet someone else. He behaved unreasonably, controlling, jealous etc and I don't think it would have changed. I know we weren't a perfect match but still, we had great times together. I'm a single mum. My exh has moved on, feel I'm left with all the cr&p. help? Advice?

Wrapdress Sat 03-Jan-15 16:38:49

I can feel your hurt, pain and sense of loss right through the screen. I'm sorry your feeling low. Time, time, time will heal. You will survive. Keep looking forward to the next adventure. How long were you together?

Applecrumbling Sat 03-Jan-15 16:43:39

Together on and off for nearly 4 years. He was my hope following divorce. But when it came to committing, I couldn't do it. He wasn't enough, but I really miss him. Feel guilt, hurt..

Tobyjugg Sat 03-Jan-15 17:13:35

But when it came to committing, I couldn't do it. He wasn't enough

So you dumped him then????

afreshstartplease Sat 03-Jan-15 17:15:05

7 weeks post break up here op

I feel your pain sad

VanitasVanitatum Sat 03-Jan-15 17:19:49

Just hold on to the knowledge that you made the right decision he was not the one for you. Nor was your ex h. Now you're free to find the one who is right.

It will happen, but right now just one day at a time.

Sophrosyne Sat 03-Jan-15 17:57:42

I know how you feel. Feel free to roll your eyes and shake your head when I say what everyone said to does get better! It will be absolutely crap for at least 5 months and then, it will get better slowly. No consolation in that, I'm afraid. But I can guarantee you on the life of my first born that it will get better.
Just get through one day at a time. Keep your expectations for yourself very, very low. Eat a bit of food, try to get a few precious hours of sleep and keep the kids alive (if you have any). That's it. Consider it a successful day if you can do that.
Don't hold your emotions in, let them out, even if you cry all day, everyday for weeks. The more you grieve now, the sooner you heal.

And keep telling yourself that you deserve better. You will be ok and a year from now it will all be a faded memory.


MelenieBrewster Sat 03-Jan-15 18:08:33

Its tough, but most of us have been there. Things will get better in the fulness of time.

feel I'm left with all the cr&p. help? Advice?

You have the DC too. Cherish them, thats my advice.

Applecrumbling Sat 03-Jan-15 20:16:28

Thank you. I've been here before with exh but it feels like this time has doubled the grief! Lower expectations a good idea.
Tibyjugg, yes I ended the relationship after he trashed my Christmas decor. I've lived on edge for so long I don't know how not to. I hide away and keep things to myself, sometimes can't cry, feel numb. I do cherish my ds. I'm pleased I've had the courage to get out but hard. Thankfully didn't live together and no ties but the no contact and no closure hard. I know I should leave it, but also think a final conversation would help??

MaudWilsonsPoodle Sun 04-Jan-15 17:11:39

A final conversation would not be the final conversation you want so would not help and would maybe draw you back in.

Keep busy and focus on your DS, not that abusive tosser.

Applecrumbling Sun 04-Jan-15 19:04:28

Thanks mwp. Yes I'm focussing on ds. What I find difficult is the conflicting emotions. Want to see him, thinking I love him, to hating him and anger. Is it just a case of riding it out? I'm comfort eating so put weight on, so not feeling good About myself.

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