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My own guilt or something to worry about?

(2 Posts)
jspr Sat 03-Jan-15 11:45:22

Long story but please read...

My DH and I have been together for 10 years and have 1 child together and another on the way. We are both in our early 30s.
In 2013 I got very drunk and ended up having sexual relations with another man - a stranger. I'm not blaming the alcohol but I wouldn't dream of doing it sober. I admitted to my husband what happened and we nearly split up over it. I still feel extremely guilty about it and terrible that I hurt him.

A few months before I cheated my husband admitted to me that he was bisexual. I had my suspicions before this and his admission wasn't a shock nor something that I felt threatened by. He has never been with a man or anything close but knew from his teens that he felt this way. He bought and watched/watches gay porn when we are not together which I don't mind as my sexual appetite isn't really there at the moment. He knows I know that he does it but always hides that he does if that makes sense.

Until a year ago he worked from home by himself, for himself but work was slow so he has taken on some shifts in a bar and works some unsociable hours.

Since starting this job he has seemed to have changed, he's more bothered about his appearance and is buying new aftershaves and speaks very candidly about his colleagues. I can't get the idea of him cheating out of my head, but I suspect that it is just my guilt.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking!

Can he be satisfied being bi but never actually doing anything about it?

Thanks for reading

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 03-Jan-15 12:56:28

Up until now you seem to have had one of those 'warts and all' relationships where everything, no matter how compromising or hurtful, gets put on the table. That's really not the way to build trust or security but given that's how it works, then have the conversation rather than wringing your hands. Maybe, on some level, you're thinking that because you cheated on him in the past he's going to get his own back?

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