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Am I just weirdly unsociable?

(6 Posts)
brokeneveryresolutionalready Fri 02-Jan-15 21:52:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

molyholy Fri 02-Jan-15 22:07:49

No. I don't think you are. I think you are the same as a lot of people. My husband, my daughter (6yo), and me had christmas dinner, just the three of us for the first timesince we got together 13 years ago. I find Christmas quite stressful trying to find the balance between seeing my in laws and my family for about the same amount of time as I hate it to look like we are favouring one family over the other. This year we just thought let's be selfish and you know what. It is the best christmas we have had in years. We still visited family, but here and there and deviated from commiting ourselves to set in stone plans. We did it tactfully and everyone accepted it. I want to do it like this every year. I do have a close group of friends (of which I include my sisters in) and have made time to see them and it has worked out great. All these years of stress have been so unnecessary x

Deserttrek Fri 02-Jan-15 22:18:12

On the flip side, of the 15-20 or so parties only a small number of those will be organising and doing. A good number will be attending and going with the flow, at different speeds of engagement. So, nothing 'weird' or selfish about what you did at all.

catrin Fri 02-Jan-15 22:18:33

I am very similar. I spent Christmas Day just me and dd. We have seen people twice since then, for a couple of hours at a time. I only have 2 relatives and they don't live near enough to pop to. Everyone is busy doing family stuff, so it is assumed I will be too, despite everyone knowing I don;t have one - where they think I magic one from, I have no idea...

When I get back to work on Monday, I will do as I always do and lie about what we have done. No one thinks it is weird if I don't see anyone for a random week in June, but over Christmas it marks me out as a social leper.

cafesociety Fri 02-Jan-15 22:23:39

I don't think you are. I do not like huge groups of people and am no good at catering. I don't pretend to be. If I did I would be put myself under immense pressure and wouldn't enjoy it [I have an anxiety/stress problem]. I do not like being false and hypocritical either.

Everyone is different and some people are like sheep doing what they think they ought to do, but not enjoying it deep down, moaning about it before/during/after and feeling resentful.

Lots of families are huge and gregarious, but most people I know have very small gatherings of friends or close family. Then do visits and/or have other people visit for 2-3 hours on Christmas Eve, or Boxing Day.

Just be yourself and have the Christmas you want and enjoy. Let others do what they want. It's best not to compare really. I think the whole point is not to make oneself miserable trying to be who we are not. It's not selfish if you take time and make efforts at some point to arrange to see people you care about/family members and enjoy some time with them.

Guilianna Fri 02-Jan-15 22:28:18

I took dc to Cornwall, where we know no one. I'm not going to lie about it, either!

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