Hello I have NC because this is embarrassing and I need a kick in the right direction. I have been split with my exdp for 5 months and he got back in contact a few days ago. We met up and talked and decided to give things another go. I don't know why but for some reason I text him last night saying it's over again. He said he was trying not to cry in the pub and was upset. I realised my mistake and text him this morning asking to forget about last night. He says he won't be in a relationship with me today as he is going out and in lucky he is even speaking to me. He says he will speak about us tomorrow. Why does he have to wait until tomorrow and have I totally blown it? My heads such a mess I don't know what to think or do.
It sounds like he's been hurt by your indecision and wants to give himself some breathing/thinking space to decide what he wants. Which is what you would have been advised to do on here if the situation were reversed.
Why did you end it after only just deciding to try again?
I know I was blowing hot and cold with him. I have no excuses for why I behaved like that other than I panicked because I had already grieved for the relationship ending but we did speak all previous issues through and I believe it can work. Basically the reason for the original split was lack of communication and understanding on both parts.
It sounds to me as though there is still some doubt there for you. And probably with good reason. It doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do, necessarily, but it shows you are aware it's not a fairy tale.
I think he probably has similar fears and your actions last night compounded them. I think you're going to have to give him the space he's requested.
I think you should leave him alone. On/off/on in the space of a few days? Head wrecking stuff. You seem incredibly unsure and it really isn't fair to force him to endure your uncertainty, by giving him hope on your 'on' days.