Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Been very silly

(16 Posts)
WhatAmIPlayingAt Thu 01-Jan-15 19:34:53

Hello I have NC because this is embarrassing and I need a kick in the right direction.
I have been split with my exdp for 5 months and he got back in contact a few days ago. We met up and talked and decided to give things another go.
I don't know why but for some reason I text him last night saying it's over again. He said he was trying not to cry in the pub and was upset. I realised my mistake and text him this morning asking to forget about last night. He says he won't be in a relationship with me today as he is going out and in lucky he is even speaking to me. He says he will speak about us tomorrow.
Why does he have to wait until tomorrow and have I totally blown it? My heads such a mess I don't know what to think or do.

Madlizzy Thu 01-Jan-15 19:49:16

Why did you split in the first place? Sounds like he's trying to punish you and that's no basis for a relationship.

GlitteryLipgloss Thu 01-Jan-15 19:53:36

why are you blowing hot and cold with him?

gamerchick Thu 01-Jan-15 19:54:00

Well do you want to get back together? Has all the reasons you split up been resolved?

FolkGirl Thu 01-Jan-15 19:58:00

It doesn't sound like he's punishing you, at all!

It sounds like he's been hurt by your indecision and wants to give himself some breathing/thinking space to decide what he wants. Which is what you would have been advised to do on here if the situation were reversed.

Why did you end it after only just deciding to try again?

WhatAmIPlayingAt Thu 01-Jan-15 20:03:09

I know I was blowing hot and cold with him. I have no excuses for why I behaved like that other than I panicked because I had already grieved for the relationship ending but we did speak all previous issues through and I believe it can work.
Basically the reason for the original split was lack of communication and understanding on both parts.

FolkGirl Thu 01-Jan-15 20:08:42

It sounds to me as though there is still some doubt there for you. And probably with good reason. It doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do, necessarily, but it shows you are aware it's not a fairy tale.

I think he probably has similar fears and your actions last night compounded them. I think you're going to have to give him the space he's requested.

getthefeckouttahere Thu 01-Jan-15 20:15:27

I think to say he is punishing you is ridiculous.

Its a pickle. Talk talk talk your way through this when he is ready. And then talk talk talk about it some more.

You cite lack of communication as one of the reasons for your break up, well put that right or maybe it is time to say goodbye to this relationship?

GlitteryLipgloss Thu 01-Jan-15 20:18:32

I think you need to either go into this 100% or leave well alone.

Maybe your gut instinct is telling you something.

Madlizzy Thu 01-Jan-15 23:03:27

Ridiculous or not, I'd say he's pissed off at the hot and cold and wanting to hit back.

AmantesSuntAmentes Thu 01-Jan-15 23:12:21

I think you should leave him alone. On/off/on in the space of a few days? Head wrecking stuff. You seem incredibly unsure and it really isn't fair to force him to endure your uncertainty, by giving him hope on your 'on' days.

AmantesSuntAmentes Thu 01-Jan-15 23:12:56

*false hope

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 01-Jan-15 23:21:17

lack of communication and understanding on both parts.

Not much has changed then.

WhatAmIPlayingAt Fri 02-Jan-15 00:12:51

Finding it hard to give him space. I know he's out having a good time and I'm sat in bed feeling sad. I know it's what I deserve but doesn't really help!

GlitteryLipgloss Fri 02-Jan-15 02:41:59

So you contacted the poor git because your bored and your thinking he is out and has forgotten about you already and is trying to move on.

Like you should be too ?? Get off the merry go round and keep busy and you'll be less likely to text him and confusing the poor git.

BastardGoDarkly Fri 02-Jan-15 02:46:27

You sound a bit addicted to the drama of make up/break up to me, I couldn't tolerate that from someone.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: