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Waiting for the crash

(12 Posts)
flippingstupidnickname Thu 01-Jan-15 14:03:53

My H moved out a couple of weeks ago and I've felt relieved and happy. I'm wondering though if I might be setting myself up for a fall. I feel like I'm waiting for it to all sink in. Or that I must be some kind of selfish, no feeling bitch sad

Has anyone else experienced this and the feeling has lasted? Will I get lonely eventually?

DeckSwabber Thu 01-Jan-15 14:22:51

Maybe. I think you are very wise to be prepared for it, if it comes.

Its not selfish or unfeeling to feel relieved that a bad situation is over and new opportunities are now open to you.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 01-Jan-15 15:05:50

I remember when I moved out of a house that my now ex was still living in.

Still high and happy, 17 years later. Never regretted a day.

Tobyjugg Thu 01-Jan-15 16:23:28

My ILs got divorced nearly 30 years ago. If there is going to be a crash, my MIL (wonderful woman) is still waiting for it.

flippingstupidnickname Thu 01-Jan-15 16:38:33

I think I feel bad for being so happy when he's so crushed...

AnyFucker Thu 01-Jan-15 16:40:39

There may be no crash

you may have already been prepared emotionally for this

Wishyouwould Thu 01-Jan-15 17:02:04

I felt elated when my abusive ex moved out.

The feeling of euphoria lasted for at least 12 months. My crash came when he started dating a mutual friend of ours. It hit hard me hard and I couldn't make sense of it because I no longer loved or wanted him.

I went through months of anxiety and depression which resulted in me seeing a counsellor and going on ADs just to get a good nights sleep.

I am now 12 months further down the line and am finally at peace. The interesting thing is that my handful of close friends told me they were waiting for me to crash at some point.

I thought I was 100% emotionally detached from him so my intense feelings came as a shock.

I really hope you continue to thrive and be happy I just wanted to tell you about my experience - I know others have experienced the same. Good luck x

flippingstupidnickname Thu 01-Jan-15 17:18:36

I hope you're right AF. I feel very ready. I think I'm just expecting to feel awful because everyone (eg books, media etc) seems to think I should. I'm also waiting for dc to crash too - they seem fine at the minute though.

Wishyouwould - no wonder you crashed, what a slap in the face that must have been! Glad you're in a better place now though x

2015HappyNewYear2015 Thu 01-Jan-15 20:03:30

I felt free and a little elated when XP moved out. Missed having someone around to put a curtain rail up without expecting payment, but that was the extent of my distress.

DinnaeKnowShitFromClay Thu 01-Jan-15 20:09:18

I spent weeks on and off crying with happiness when my abusive ex moved out. The feeling never went away. I have never regretting getting rid of him as I couldn't breathe smile or grow as a person with him sucking the life out of me. I had no future with him. The only regret was that I wasted nearly 8 years on the toerag. Hopefully you won't get the crash. Kids are clever and take these things in their stride. Take your lead from them and don't overthink it.

CaramelPie Fri 02-Jan-15 00:14:38

I felt happy when I separated from my ExDH but prepared myself mentally for a 'crash'.

It never came smile.

TheWindowDonkey Fri 02-Jan-15 00:43:17

Lived with a guy for four years (3 year 363 days longer than i should have, but i was young, and stupid!) and the day i walked out i was on a high. I didnt ever crash from that one, it was just absolutely the right thing to do!

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