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Historic domestic violence

(2 Posts)
whateverloser Thu 01-Jan-15 04:26:04

Sorry if this is upsetting for anyone, but I'd like some advice. Is it the right thing to do, to report my stbxh for domestic violence, that was some time ago? It started about ten years ago and although was not that frequent, it continued until the end of our relationship this summer. Should I just walk away now, as the relationship is over, or should he face some sort of justice? Having had counselling I can also now see that I have been the victim of psychological and financial abuse. This has taken me a very long time to accept and it is extremely painful to acknowledge that my marriage was an abusive one. Conditioning of a victim so that they feel they deserve their punishment is a very powerful and dangerous tool by an abuser. I want some form of closure ( sorry- hate that word, but can't think of an alternative), but would reporting him for this help or is it just opening a can of worms? Thanks for reading.

heyday Thu 01-Jan-15 05:12:09

I think you firstly need to ask yourself if you are still at risk from him? If you are then you need to be very careful about reporting him to the police unless you are safe to do so as obviously if the police want to arrest him or talk to him this could inflame him and put you at risk.
Your safety has to be your immediate concern.
Speak to the experts at Women's Aid to see what they advise about how to safely go about reporting him and the implications of doing so. It's a sad fact that women facing abuse are not always believed and if the case came to court you may have to face him and be cross examined. So, get yourself some expert advise and you can be in a much stronger, wiser position to know what the best course of action is and how to correctly and safely carry this through. Good luck.

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