I'm a survivor of a dysfunctional family.
I grew up in a cold environment where affection was in short supply and my mother ruled the roost with strange routines and OCD. I believe she has aspergers syndrome and tourettes.
She told me off so much when I was ill that it has impacted on me badly; I suffer from health anxiety, emetophobia and anxiety and agoraphobia.
My father never stood up to her.
I have tried to get passed all this...by making a life for myself. I have a degree in psychology and one in law and I am a published writer.
Yet the emptiness and anxiety does persist.
I thought compassion and forgiveness was the answer. My parents have never admitted what they did and they never ever will so I thought that as I still love them, I would still try to have a relationship with them. I am adopted. How they got to adopt is beyond me.
But I have a brother (also adopted) and he knows the truth because he said how badly he was treated many years ago. However, he has turned into a nasty person, who has no feeling for others, like an obnoxious, overgrown teenager. When I last saw him, I tried to appeal to him, to say that we shared what we went through, but despite me telling him I love him, he walked out, said I shouldn't see our parents because of my issues with my childhood. Issues he has chosen to now overlook, even though he still said his childhood was worse than mine!
I was meant to meet up with my parents, but they refused to see me because my brother had stirred up trouble.
I can't believe they would listen to him...they were always running him down because of how obnoxious and hateful he could be. He has a temper and hit a woman. They have chosen to believe him over me.
And of course, he wants their inheritance I do believe.
I have sent them cards with special words, I have tried so hard but now they have sent me a letter saying that my brother finally revealed why he was so upset over our last meeting...he was not upset! And they want nothing more to do with me. They will die, they said, without ever seeing me. That I owe them thousands (which I do not) and harped on about the past when I was meant to have misbehaved (yet I was just a normal child in a screwed up family). I have not borrowed thousands from them and nothing they mentioned was unusual considering the awful circumstances.
It should be them asking for my forgiveness.
But the thing is, this breaks my heart...
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Relationships
My parents don't want to ever see me again...
wonderwoman21 · 31/12/2014 15:18
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