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What to do with them?

(4 Posts)
ShesAnEasyWuffer Wed 31-Dec-14 12:43:49

Hi everyone

Is have recently gone no contact with my mum. The back story is in previous threads of mine if you care to advanced search me smile (it's not really necessary for this thread which is why I'm leaving it out). I sent her a long letter explaining my reasons. She responded. A bit of a pointless letter with lots of excuses.

Anyway, this week she has posted me some bits and bobs (presents etc) that my sister said she had bought before I sent the nc letter. Included are two absolutely beautiful dolls that she has made for my dd (8 months). It would break my mum's heart if I returned them to her - I don't want to unnecessarily hurt her - but I don't want dd to have them. Not sure how I'd feel to donate them.

Also, do I say thanks for the package? I said in my letter to her that I won't contact her again, and I intend to stick by this. I do want to ask her not to send Christmas/birthday cards etc for dd (as I think she'll continue to do this). If I ask her then we'll open up a dialogue again. I don't want to get my sister involved as she's too much in the middle as it is. Aaarrrgggghhhhhhh. This nc stuff is so hard sad

Any advice welcome x

Dowser Wed 31-Dec-14 13:04:24

Well as I don't know the back story anything I say is out of context as I don't know why you don't want dd to have them.

You could keep them for her in case things improve and she asks for them in the future.

Just put them in the toy cupboard without making a fuss of them.

I'd be disinclined to just get rid and certainly wouldn't send the back.

InfinitySeven Wed 31-Dec-14 13:09:48

You are NC, so you stay NC. The dolls are for your daughter so put them in your toy box or whatever, and stay NC. It's NC under any circumstances.

InnocenceAndExperience Wed 31-Dec-14 13:46:08

May not be helpful, but could you communicate via your sister? Maybe acknowledge receipt but explain that further contact is unwelcome and ask her to respect that.

I'd keep the dolls in a safe place until your daughter is old enough to have them, then decide what to do with them. You never know, it might mean a lot to your daughter in years to come that her grandmother made them for her. And you don't know what the future holds - none of us do.

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