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don't feel sorry for....

(16 Posts)
slowcookerson Wed 31-Dec-14 11:51:35

I don't feel sorry for myself, but i will feel sad tonight at midnight.

i am healthy and wise, lived a full life-i am 69 - yet i feel so alone.
the slow cooker is on, lovely aroma from the kitchen, warm and comforting.

yet, i feel alone in the world.

3 adult children living abroad, with gc.
1 dear sister living across the sea.

some dear friends of many years with their families and grandchildren.
i count my blessings, yet my family is physically missing from the welcome in of 2015.
it's a beautiful sunny day here, still a touch of frost, but all is well, apart from the sadness.

arlagirl Wed 31-Dec-14 11:55:57

It is a difficult day for so many people, isn't it?
I am divorcing, had a horrible Xmas with h but I know things will get better.

I am sure you will get lots of responses to your will resonate with many of us.

munchkin2902 Wed 31-Dec-14 11:56:34

Oh I don't blame you for feeling a little sad. Could you spend the evening planning and booking a trip in the new year to see your children or sister? And enjoy your lovely food with a nice glass of wine and a good film. New Year celebrations are always overrated anyway.

arlagirl Wed 31-Dec-14 11:57:38

Good idea Elfo29.... And I agree that NYE is totally overrated

TheKhalisirules Wed 31-Dec-14 12:20:55

oh slow, totally feel you.
I had a really rough year and right now I'm just feeling blessed that the neighbours invited me over.
I don't think I have the expectation of partying it up anymore, but one is made to feel like one SHOULD be 'doing something', I feel.
As we say here 'einen guten Rutsch und Prost!' wine
Big hug.

handfulofcottonbuds Wed 31-Dec-14 12:27:09

For the 11 years I was with my STBXH, we never went out on NYE. We never felt the pressure too and it was always the same, nice dinner at home and STBXH clock watching until midnight so he could go to bed - it was always way past his bedtime.

Now I'm on my own, I feel so much pressure to go out and enjoy myself. I am staying in and I'm not bothered by it, okay maybe a tiny bit. Then again, it's going to be freezing tonight!

What would it mean if I went out? Probably half a day in bed tomorrow with a hangover and flash-backs of forced 'enjoyment'.

I like your mention of your slow cooker on. I hope you have some wine too!

Maybe instead of watching the many TV programmes celebrating the NY, you could put a film on? Something funny and uplifting smile

I also like the idea of planning that trip from the pp.

Paddlingduck Wed 31-Dec-14 12:33:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paddlingduck Wed 31-Dec-14 12:36:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smileybadger Wed 31-Dec-14 12:37:46

that was one of the most beautifully written posts ive ever readflowers

slowcookerson Wed 31-Dec-14 12:38:08

ahh, thank you for your replies.

I think part of it is that in the past I really enjoyed going out for the celebrations,the excitement at the stroke of midnight.

perhaps I feel like I am missing out.

.how true, I feel like I "should" be doing it, maybe I should ask myself "why"?

haha, I also said but it will be freezing out, a little consolation.
my granddaughter just emailed to say she is in tonight as she is working tomorrow, and she is only 23, and she isn't bothered!

maybe I am just being a bit wishful for days gone by.

I planned to watch queen with adam lambert tonight, definitely noisy and uplifting!

thank you, yes, I will plan to fly to visit my dsis next year.

gotta cheer up now, count my blessings, and thank my lucky stars that I am fit and well!!!!!
(still wish I had some family around haha)

MiniTheMinx Wed 31-Dec-14 12:42:53

Come the revolution and no one will be on their own grin but then some people like being alone. For those who don't, well this modern life is cruel.

Make a plan, next year do something amazing, help a charity, maybe volunteer to help shelter or work in a hostel for a few hours. This year there will be approx 3,000 people sleeping rough over New Year. In the cold, with nothing to hope for past waking up the next morning. In the meantime turn up the radio, or put on some music, count your blessings and vow that this time next year will be absolutely fab.

Dowser Wed 31-Dec-14 12:46:00

Tonight please celebrate your health as I struggle with mine most days and I'm quite a bit younger than you.

Get those trips booked.

Watch the help on tv. A lovely uplifting film.

Better to be on your own with peace and quiet than tied to an uncouth drunk.

But I know you know this.. Too many people will have a terrible time tonight.

handfulofcottonbuds Wed 31-Dec-14 12:48:05

Ahh, thank you paddling - all the best to you too thanks

slowcooker - There is so much emphasis this time of the year to be with people and enjoy ourselves. It doesn't always work like that in reality and it just makes those of us who are single feel like a spare part.

Truth is, we are lucky, we can choose what we want to do and please ourselves. I'm not that old (40) but the thought of getting dressed up and getting overpaid transport somewhere tonight doesn't appeal to me. Wherever I go, it would have couples and reminders for me, it will probably involve people doing those 'pity' eyes at me as I am on my own and half a person for being so.

I have a huge cuddly blanket, house to myself and I'm popping out to get some dinner and some wine soon then my door is closing and my pjs are going on!!

slowcookerson Wed 31-Dec-14 12:52:46

yes, I know, decades ago I was an abandoned and neglected child, homeless and living in poverty,
so I do count my blessings every day.

I also will offer my support to a charity.
I also will celebrate the peace I finally have in my life.
I also will book a visit to dsis.
thank you all for your replies

MiniTheMinx Wed 31-Dec-14 12:54:02

See, you are amazing and that is worth celebrating grin go you x

slowcookerson Wed 31-Dec-14 16:34:12

haha, yes, nice and warm, lovely food, onwards and upwards for 2015.

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