Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Online dating disaster... Share yours to make me feel better!

(15 Posts)
BirdhouseInYourSoul Tue 30-Dec-14 23:38:30

Decided Sunday I would try online dating again seriously for the new year...

A guy messaged me sunday morning pretty much straight away. We chatted on and off sunday - I was travelling a bit so had a fair amount of time to be replying.

Monday morning 7am the messages start. just the usual hey how are you stuff but if I didn't reply within 10 minutes he'd send 'hey, you there' or a smiley face etc.

I explained several times I was getting ready for work and then sent a final message saying I would be home late tonight but we could chat again then.

He sent me messages every 20 or so minutes all day.

I came home to lots of 'hey babe' 'where are you' 'you're so sexy' etc He told me he'd told his friends all about his new girlfriend hmm Said he was happy he was finally in a true relationship for new year shock and generally babbled away to himself. All Day.

So I replied saying I'd changed my mind, I didn't want to date anymore and he clearly wanted more then I was willing to give. Blocked and moved on.

Today I come home to to 50+ messages - (identical profile apart from the name) pleading with me to give him a chance, he's a nice guy, he doesn't want to break up, etc etc

I have reported him and blocked this new account but I'm thinking I may have to close this profile and try again or never probably.

But this; Ladies and Gentlemen, is why we never give out personal details until we are really sure... imagine if he'd had my name and number?

I can't be the only one failing so terribly within 48 hours of starting can I?

peachgirl Wed 31-Dec-14 00:28:50

Good grief. This is not meant to be an insult to you in any way (or an excuse for his behaviour!), but perhaps he REALLY wanted to be in a relationship of some sort over New Year? I know lots of people feel down/lonely at this time of year. Blimey, though.

Good luck with future dates, you did the right thing blocking this guy - he clearly has some issues.

I went on a date with someone from OLD where I spent 5 minutes telling him that I'd decided to date over the new year but not to sign up for anything on New Year's Eve because lol how sad, who does that, etc - then he tells me how he signed up at 11.30pm on - you guessed it...
We didn't see each other again!

Nicky42 Wed 31-Dec-14 00:32:19

He sounds mental. Gotta love online dating!

I met some lovely people and one absolute nutter (i won't go into details but it was so horrible it wasn't even funny!).

But!!!! I did meet a wonderful man who I have been with very happily for 2 years and who asked me to marry him on Xmas day smile

Waltermittythesequel Wed 31-Dec-14 00:37:05

Holy shit.

Not OD but I once went for a drink with a guy who worked in my company but in a different building.

It was boring and awkward so I politely said no to another.

For the next few MONTHS he sent messages, flowers and poetry he'd written.

My brother worked in the same company and was cornered by him on a work night out crying and shit?!

I left shortly after but my poor brother couldn't move for emails from him asking that he pass on the shit poetry he was still writing.

Fucking wacko.

herintheredskirt Wed 31-Dec-14 01:04:56

Don't start chatting with people before you meet them. Seriously. Up to four messages total between you to arrange a meeting, then no more......it really does cut out this sort of nonsense.

herintheredskirt Wed 31-Dec-14 01:17:10

But you asked for stories, so I will make up for my unwanted advice by telling one of my disasters.

I agreed to a meet up with a fellow I had reservations about - goodness knows why I agreed, I was not nearly as wise back then!- anyway he turned out to be the most boring, dreary, self-absorbed bore ever. Stupidly I had agreed to a long date, for dinner and the evening. OMG, he took over an hour to tell me the details of each of his grandparents' deaths and funerals. I can not remember expressing any interest in hearing about this topic either before he started talking or for the next hour.......There was no second date, but he was a hanger-on-er-er too and kept messaging and emailing me for years, still does I think, I just never check that account any more. (I broke the four messages rule with him too!)

Undecided29 Wed 31-Dec-14 01:53:50

I had a fairly innocuous but boring date with a man a little bit older than me, mid thirties when I was 26 at the time. However when I said I wasn't interested in meeting again in a text after the date he was quite aggressive about it saying I was a silly girl and I had led him on! Definitely not the case. It took me aback as rejection goes hand in hand with online dating and i was surprised by such an unhinged reaction.

He was a sound engineer, but I didnt know he worked in bars, and I took a different online date to a venue he worked in unwittingly. Didn't notice until we sat down with drinks and noticed i was being glowered at from the sound booth. That was a rubbish date too though so i quickly left.

ReturnofSanta Wed 31-Dec-14 04:08:03

I will always remember my ex housemate tried online dating for the very first time and arranged her very first date with a guy from POF. She was extremely nervous. They arranged to meet in a local pub.
I was out of town the night she went on the date so I texted her the next day to ask how it went.

''He turned up with a can in a carrier bag''

nickyangel Wed 31-Dec-14 04:43:34

I think it can actually be good to message before meeting, but no more than once a day. More can make you look too available.

The good thing about messages first is that, most often, the nutters self-destruct, or you can see the big red flags like this, before you are in the way of potentially being stalked/followed/harmed.

LadyCybilCrawley Wed 31-Dec-14 05:15:44

Met online and Dated a man for a bit - thought he was relatively normal - widow with 2 daughters - raising his teenage daughters alone ....

Turns out he left his wife when the children were under 3 for his secretary and she sadly passed away a few years later .... He then fought the estate to get "his money" "back" and reluctantly took custody of the children as the only means of getting the money

When I found this out and seeing his true colors I quickly hightailed it - missed the children though to this day - they were delightful kids despite the turmoil in their lives

LadyCybilCrawley Wed 31-Dec-14 05:16:30

Umm the mother passed away, not the secretary

Wrapdress Wed 31-Dec-14 06:10:09

I'll tell you what I was told by my experienced online dating friends. Sign up, make a profile and then log off for 2 weeks. The newbies get bombarded with people waiting for the naïve newbies to sign up. That is exactly what happened to me. Once the Welcome Wagon Loons subsided and moved on to other newbies, then it becomes more "real" - not perfect, but better.

herintheredskirt Wed 31-Dec-14 06:45:26

Yes that's true. The saddos just lurk waiting for fresh meat smile

BirdhouseInYourSoul Wed 31-Dec-14 09:17:38

Glad I'm not the only one suffering OLD then!

I do understand about not messaging too much but I think it can help to weed out the weirdos. If I'd jumped straight to a meeting with this guy he'd have my phone number to pester me with too!

Ah well, onwards and upwardsgrin

Homepride1 Wed 31-Dec-14 11:51:20

wrapdress your totally right!

I singed up this week, not because I actually want to date or anything yet (I don't) but purely just to see what was out there in my area! My progile has nothing on at all, no pic nothings in the headers and bit you talk about your self I just wrote "will fill in later" only info on there is height, hair/eye colour and that's it! Within minutes I had replies from 2 men who live on my street, one is very much married, the other is a alcoholic and lives with his mum aged 45. Someone messaged saying they will pay me £50 if I send a photo of my shit shock and loads of just general hi sexy etc!

I'm actually glad I'm not ready to date but I did have a browse through and found a handful of profiles of seemly normal nice men, no pictures (selfies) of them flexing their muscles in the gym mirror etc!

I used POF 4 years ago and think if you sieve through the crap and ignore any of the sexy/babe messages then it can be a good way of getting out and meeting new people, I def had a few nice dates/eves out

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now