Sorry if this is long.
I posted a week or so ago about my dp and his erection issues. Essentially, he struggles to obtain and sustain an erection and doesn't ejeculate during sex. He has always had these problems since before we got together. We have been together 8 years. This problem has recently gotten a lot worse and last time we tried to have sex he couldn't obtain an erection at all. He said that he just doesn't feel like sex at all at the moment and got very upset about everything. I made him contact relate at the time.
Jump to today and he rang the doctors this morning to try and make an appointment but there are no pre bookable ones left. He also rang relate to chase them up and left a message.
So, that is all positive...he is making steps to sort himself out and get back on track. I think he is depressed (he has a hideous workload and is constantly working), and this is making everything seem 100 times worse for him. He thinks his penis is shrinking and doesn't believe me when I say it's not. He thinks he is fat (he is not), and is generally one of lifes pessimists.
The problem is that I am desperate for another baby. We have our little girl who is 3 and means the world to us. We conceived her via him ejaculating into a cup and using a syringe due to the lack of ejaculation during sex. This is the third year I have asked if we can try for another baby. Last year he said to give him a year. This year all this has happened. He has said he doesn't really want another baby, in fact he doesn't want to think about it at the moment (which I understand), and that our working lifes will get more difficult with more work (we are both teachers). I told him that we can't base having another baby around 'what ifs' etc. He said he doesn't want another child who he might not love because he was forced into it. He then directly asked me what would happen between us if we couldn't have another baby...would I leave him. I honestly don't know and said that I wasn't sure. I then broke down in tears (very mature). He then said that if I helped him through all his problems then he would owe me one so maybe we could try for another baby then.
The thing is, I have already been put off for the last 3 years. What if he gets sorted and then still doesn't want another baby? What if it takes years to get him sorted? I am nearly 32...not old but old enough to start thinking that this is now getting to make or break. But he is a good dad and adores our dd and she adores him. Could I break up our little family for such a selfish reason as wanting to have another baby?
I am so miserable at the moment. He is constantly working and is low and constantly picking at things about himself that he doesn't like. He said he wouldn't blame me if I went elsewhere for sex as he can't provide me with it at the moment.
I sound so selfish...he is going through shit and I am worried about not having another baby. I love him, but I hate how down about himself he is and he is not the person I fell in love with.
He has made steps to sort things out so that is good. I have told him to make an emergency appt for the docs tomorrow as he actually said that he was feeling awful and didn't want to wait until next week.
Sorry, this is completely waffley. What would you do if this was you?
a) stay and support him no matter what
b) stay and support him but put some sort of time frame on the baby thing
c) go, and try and rebuild mine and my daughters life whilst he sorts himself out (which I worry will not happen without my support)
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Don't know what to do :-(
10 replies
lovesleep2 · 29/12/2014 19:40
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