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How can I prove he's being deceitful?

(12 Posts)
leolion1972 Mon 29-Dec-14 08:19:40

I have my suspicions that my BF of 8 yrs is playing around behind my back. I have gathered evidence in the form of photos of receipts of gifts that I've never received, and his phone is surgically attached to him, he sends texts constantly to someone and when I ask he says it's his sister or work colleague. I have asked some direct questions about things I have found but obv he denies it. I am now not asking any more direct questions or mentioning the things I find as this leads to him being better at covering things up.
The problem I have is understanding his other behaviour if he is seeing someone else as he says he loves me, he's booked a holiday for our family next year, he wants sex ( I don't). Any advice would be gratefully recieved.

however Mon 29-Dec-14 08:21:08

Do you have kids with him?

Do you own/rent?

Do you have your own income?

Twinklebells Mon 29-Dec-14 08:23:12

why do you need evidence? If he is being secretive and you no longer want sex what relationship is there any more?

Can you see copies of bank/ credit card statements or phone bill?

You may never find the evidence you need to confront him though.

If you're unhappy with him, can you not leave?

Vivacia Mon 29-Dec-14 08:38:31

Why do you need evidence?

CogitOIOIO Mon 29-Dec-14 09:06:28

I agree with PPs..... if you don't trust this man, don't believe him and don't feel affectionate towards him, you don't need physical evidence before you dump him. The onus is really on him to behave in a more trustworthy and loveable manner.

What's stopping you telling him it's over?

FolkGirl Mon 29-Dec-14 09:17:36

I, too, was going to ask why you need proof or evidence? If your suspicions are that great, and it sounds like you've had them for a while, you don't trust him and don't want sex with him, just end it.

I know it feels like you need proof to justify it, but really, you don't. Hat difference would it make?

HouseWhereNobodyLives Mon 29-Dec-14 09:19:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leolion1972 Mon 29-Dec-14 09:35:14

I guess you're right. Why do I need evidence if I don't trust him? I guess I wanted a reason to dump him. Yes I have a child with him (3). We rent at moment but own a house that is rented out. I do have my own income and have done the benefits calculator and would be £700 better off a month if I was a single mum.
I am a big softie and probably a bit naive so what if I'm wrong?
I know deep down I need to move on I guess I just need a big push to do it x

FolkGirl Mon 29-Dec-14 09:46:22

Does it matter if you're wrong? You're not happy and you don't trust him

CogitOIOIO Mon 29-Dec-14 09:49:06

The big push will come and most likely it won't be in the form of tracked down evidence or some grand confession on his part. It'll be something small... maybe a few years down the track... you'll understand that he's been taking the piss, you've wasted a huge chunk of your life looking for 'proof' and you'll kick yourself.

GaryBaldy Mon 29-Dec-14 09:50:37

You don't trust him and you don't want to have sex with him. What is the point in continuing the relationship as it is?

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