Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Finished with him but feel guilty.

(7 Posts)
greenfish Mon 29-Dec-14 01:21:15

This is a namechange, I've been on mn a while.

I met a man on POF in the spring, after a tentative start we have been going out together I like him a lot. We had our first argument in October it was just a small thing but he suddenly became vicious. He brought things into the argument that were personal and nothing to do with the original argument.

Since then I haven't felt right about it all so today I finished with him on the phone. Since the argument I would have been wary of ending it face to face.

I know I have done the right thing for me but he was very upset and as I said I do like him a lot but I do feel very guilty. He was very upset.

I just wanted to get this down really.
I need to be reminded I've done the right thing and not to beat myself up and not to go back on this.

Tobyjugg Mon 29-Dec-14 01:30:44

he suddenly became vicious You have definitely done the right thing.

hitalownote Mon 29-Dec-14 01:37:54

feel sorry for you op. most likely will be in your shoes tmrw.
I have other reasons. however i remember with ex (dd dad) having an argument on night and i was completely rational and trying to make him understand how he was upsetting in what he had done. he didn't like ever for anyone to point things out to him. he was right in an arguement. I will never forget when he had no excuses left and nothing to add to the argument he resorted to a personal attack/comment.I had just given birth and he called me fat. (hardly fat being a size 12)
It made me realise i would never have a normal , adult, rational discussion with him. he just couldn't do it. he felt the only thing he could do to win the argument was that comment as he knew it would bother me. after that i knew like you that it didn't feel right. it wouldn't have mattered how he complimented me or apologised, resorting to that was pathetic and immature.
i felt guilty for asking him to leave his dd and relationship but i knew it would never work. like so many women here say, it was for the best. that relationship would never have work. my present one, well that's another whole ballgame but you should stand up for yourself and say no resorting to personal attacks is inappropriate and hurtful and certainly not done by someone who loves you and wants to make you happy. i think you have done the right thing, even if you feel sad. you don't deserve that.

beautyfades Mon 29-Dec-14 01:40:28

I'm in the same boat i got rid of a loser on Christmas day. Bad timing but i didn't want to waste anymore time with him but i still miss him!! keep telling yourself you've done the right thing.

borisgudanov Mon 29-Dec-14 03:02:39

You do not need to feel guilty about dumping an aggressive twat.

greenfish Mon 29-Dec-14 13:09:00

Thank you for your replies, he's been in touch saying we need to talk. I don't really need to talk, I do know this is the right thing to do. His default position in an argument in future would be to attack so I can't let it go on.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 29-Dec-14 13:18:13

he suddenly became vicious
That's all you need to remember.
Just cut him off now.
You've ended it.
Block, delete and ignore.
It matters not a jot what he wants now.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now