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I don't know what to do anymore

(10 Posts)
justbatteringon Sun 28-Dec-14 18:56:43

My DP has just asked me if he can go get some beer and sit in with a few. I know what some of you are thinking what's the big deal it's just a few drinks no harm, but in his case he can't have a few the last time this happened I said yeah no problem and I got up with the babies at 6 am the next morning to find him gone. Keeping in mind I'd gone downstairs at 2 am for a drink and he was still there.

On another occasion I'd gone out for a birthday party very rare and came back to find him pissed its a long story the police were called I've just recently had a visit from a SW. He promised after that time he wouldn't drink anymore and that would be the end of it. We've been together for 8 years and alcohol has always been an issue for him it's made him lose numerous jobs and countless fights between us inow fact he's rarely had a job in the time we've been together.

After that super long explanation do you think I'm being unreasonable do you think I'm in the wrong I always feel very guilty when I say no and usually give in.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Sun 28-Dec-14 19:05:19

Just say no you can't. I'm afraid though that he will probably do it anyway. He clearly has a problem with alcohol. You have my sympathy because unless he decides to change he will let you down time after time with this.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Sun 28-Dec-14 19:06:05

Do you live together? Or is he visiting?

justbatteringon Sun 28-Dec-14 19:07:41

We love together and have done for many years

gamerchick Sun 28-Dec-14 19:07:53

Tell him he can do what he wants but you'll be locking the door for the night when he goes for them.

You know he's going to pick a fight to get some. Cut out the bullshit and the stress from the off.

justbatteringon Sun 28-Dec-14 19:08:10


MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Sun 28-Dec-14 19:10:18

I would tell him that if he drinks he leaves then. If a SW being involved hasn't stopped him though then I think you'll find he will still go and drink so like Gamerchick said I'd lock the door on him.

justbatteringon Sun 28-Dec-14 19:15:25

I've told him no. He's gone upstairs to huff read I'll let you know how it goes.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Sun 28-Dec-14 19:19:57

Well done. I spent five years on a drinking merry go round with my DH. He had alcoholic parents who both died because of drinking so I do know how hard it is when they huff read.

Wrapdress Sun 28-Dec-14 20:14:49

It's hard to compete with alcohol and it's hard to externally control someone else's relationship with alcohol.

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