Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Going no contact

(12 Posts)
Shenton Sun 28-Dec-14 11:04:35

There is this guy who is an absolute nightmare and I need to go cold turkey I really do I've made a complete fool of myself over him.
It's so hard though

Justwanttomoveon Sun 28-Dec-14 11:31:08

Make sure you delete and block his number, ensure you have no contact via social media. Believe me going no contact helps moving on enormously

Ohbollocksandballs Sun 28-Dec-14 11:31:44

Block, block and block again. The relief will be enormous.

Shenton Sun 28-Dec-14 12:43:13

I've done that so many times but keep going back, it's pointless the discipline has to come from me I know that

ShouldAvePutASockInIt Sun 28-Dec-14 15:59:17

I'm trying to do the same thing..he finished it three weeks ago saying he doesn't love me and can't give me what I want - a relationship - I keep emailing him begging and pleading and he has not replied - he's just cut me off completely - it hurts like hell does anyone have any good advice so I stop humiliating myself

dirtybadger Sun 28-Dec-14 16:10:03

Write the emails but send them to yourself? Read them back 24 hours later. I doubt you'll want to send them after that time! Find something specific to do whenever you find yourself at home thinking about him (bored, perhaps). Listen to a specific song that'll make you think twice (an angry but empowering one?).
If you have someone who you have the right relationship with, contact them. Or get them to check up on you. I have a friend who's trying to go NC with her abusive ex. I text her everyday at the mo. to see how it's going. Actually harder in her case as he harasses her so it's not her making the first move, but I do hope it helps her and I certainly don't mind because it's absolutely in my interest to have a happy, safe friend.

WhyTheFace Sun 28-Dec-14 16:18:31

I'm having a fucking nightmare with my ex. I'm the one doing NC and he is trying everything to get in touch including and not limited to calling my best friend and her husband, getting his son to call me at fucking MIDNIGHT to ask what's going on, contacting my auntie, sending flowers, getting his friends to message me on FB.

He makes my skin crawl and I HATE him for doing this to me. I finished with him face to face after a third incidence of him displaying worryingly possessive/jealous behaviour.

I have blocked him on FB, de friended anyone even tangentially related to him, blocked him and his son on my phone, blocked anyone who has messaged me on FB. It's exhausting and a bit frightening.

Don't be this person if you are the one struggling with not contacting someone who has told you clearly that they don't want to be in a relationship anymore, and if you're on the other side of the coin (like me) just keep blocking and try not to let it get to you. (I spent yesterday in a state of shock and anxiety after yet another late night call from someone who was obviously with my ex and had been co-opted into calling and harassing me)

Meerka Sun 28-Dec-14 18:53:34

whytheface you can actually go to the police about this behaviour, it's a harassment offence. You might want to ring 101 and talk to them. It's not an emergency but i you should not live your life in fear and stress

WhyTheFace Sun 28-Dec-14 19:09:25

Thank you meerka. I know, but we're only two weeks into this break up and I'd rather just ride this out for a couple more weeks. If he carries on after that I WILL be contacting the police.

At least his behaviour has extinguished any feelings of doubt/sadness I might have carried about our break-up - instead I'm feeling utter relief.

flowers for you.

Shenton Sun 28-Dec-14 23:23:59

That is good hearing the other dude of the story. I'm not harrasing him but clearly ir rating him as he's so snappy with me.
I guess knowing you are that person is motivation enough to knock it on the head.
He will booty call me it's just a case of being strong enough to say no I guess.

SandyVagina Sun 28-Dec-14 23:40:35

Going NC means just that. Block him. That moment when you do it is scary, the relief after is brilliant, the hours and days after that can be fraught with the desire to see what they've said.

Believe that it will be worthless.
Block him. Just so that you can't contact him and he can't suck you in. It feels extreme I know, it isn't extreme, it's sensible.

Shenton Mon 29-Dec-14 00:15:44

I know. Every sensible ounce of me knows.
I'm going to just keep really busy I think

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now